Not Quite Utter Nonsense

That cow jumped over the moon?
Cool,
But this one here,
Leaps over a lagoon.

One natural barrier,
To the other,
She’s done it so often,
It’s created a crater.

In her mind,
There’s a monster behind,
And so she makes her way,
To the other side.

But then,
Oh! Ah!
The thing has not gone far!
So it’s back to the opposite shore.

Back and forth she goes,
‘Cuz that thing’s so chilling,
Though unseen,
It’s crippling,
The way it’s nasty and mean.

**********

The best place to start,
Has always been at the beginning,
It tends to keep,
The mind from spinning,
Which makes a mixed-up feeling.

So here we go,
It’s time to let you know,
What started this cow,
Living such a shit-show.

**********

A few miles out,
From the mainland,
Is a tiny island,
Where there’s a circus,
Aboard a boat,
That doesn’t float.

It sits on the ground,
Where people come,
From miles around,
Just to hear the sounds,
And see the sights,
Of animals trained in tricks,
And walking proud.

As part of the show,
A cow bows low,
Then gets in a watercraft,
And begins to row.

One day a little baby cow,
Which the ringmaster,
Had recently acquired,
Was told that her training time,
Was starting now.

“Fuck this”!
Thought she,
“From this horror show,
I must flee”!

And so she thought right quick,
Of an escape,
“Because why”,
Said she to herself,
“Should my life be a disaster,
To please that stubby and pudgy,
Unpleasant ringmaster”?

“I wanna be petted and spoiled,
Fed and groomed well,
By someone who’s loyal,
And give chocolate milk,
For royals to drink”.

**********

Soon she put,
The wheels in motion,
And managed quite nicely,
To find her freedom,
By taking a swim,
In the ocean.

She headed towards,
A neighboring isle,
Off in the distance,
A couple of miles.

She thought it seemed,
Small and secluded,
But upon her landing,
It was large and prosperous,
Having vast fields,
Of open grass.

**********

Now this missing animal,
Caused the ringmaster,
To see red,
When he noticed her absence,
Soon after rising,
From his bed.

So being the type,
Of man he was,
He made a rash decision,
And called in on,
The local magician.

Then these two malicious men,
Wrote a revolting charm,
On a piece of paper,
With a magic pen,
And together repeated it thrice,
At the count of ten.

Now there’s a terrible tormentor,
Attached to her,
Causing this bizarre behavior,
But she’s about to get deliverance,
Following a coming,
Supernatural occurrence.

**********

For warring angels,
Are headed that way,
They’ve been waiting all day,
For nightfall,
So they can end this,
Once and for all.

Now it’s dusk,
About the time,
The little cow,
Usually loses her mind,
And these angels surround the lagoon,
Singing one of,
Heaven’s own tunes.

Before very long,
Here she comes,
And the demon,
Along for the ride,
Is sure as shit,
About to feel,
A change in the tide.

As usual,
She’s wild-eyed and prancing,
Because of that thing,
So menacing,
Then all of a sudden,
She’s stopping cold,
And her eyes don’t roll,
Due to the invisible aid,
Of the angelic barricade.

**********

And that was the last time,
That devilish creature,
Got her goat,
And overtook her.

It’s said total deliverance,
Can come from a song,
And apparently,
That’s not wrong.

I Don’t Even Like The Ocean But Whatever

I saw a river rage,
Right into the sea,
Then radiate,
Serenity.

My soul was calmed,
As if it had,
Just read a Psalm,
I went from mad to glad,
In two-point-two.

That salty air,
Found only there,
It seemed to care,
It took from my mouth,
The unholy swear,
And from my eyes,
The unseemly glare.

Loud motors roared,
From racing boats,
And the water then,
It seemed to gloat,
“Aren’t I just,
So powerful?
Like a cat-5 gust,
Give me an hour,
And your heart will be full,
And about to bust”.

“Full,
Instead of hollow,
You’ll gain sweetness and love,
Instead of being shallow”.

Oh, that hits!
Hits me square in the heart,
It left its mark,
And how it smarts!

Now here it is,
After dark,
I pace up and down,
And though it’s took all day,
I’ve lost the frown.

I hear waves lapping,
At the shore,
And I feel a dark power,
Walk away,
Forever more.

It’s replaced with a light,
That’s come to me this night,
My head feels hazy,
And I bet it sounds crazy,
But I’ve got back my might,
And stand ready to fight.

Bored Bobcat

The night is cool,
The feeling heavy and blue,
And Honda is wired,
Rather than tired.

Honda is a bobcat,
Whose best friend is a muskrat,
Tonight when venturing,
Down to the water,
He saw the most fascinating fire.

Excited was he,
Until he saw,
The space around it not free,
But instead full of people-
Oh, how shitty!

Where, oh where,
Was Muskrat McCaw?
He could sure use his help,
For these humans must beat it,
Though none broke the law.

‘Cuz he can picture it now,
Right before his eyes,
His deer and rabbit friends,
Getting roasted and toasted,
And his own pond of friendly fishes,
Getting plucked one by one,
Then made into fancy dishes.

Off he trotted,
Staying concealed took care,
But it was a must,
For it would be bad to be spotted,
He knew McCaw was ’round about somewhere,
And he’d hurry to help,
Run these fiends off.

Luckily,
McCaw was at home,
So Honda didn’t have,
Very far to roam.

The muskrat lived along,
The river bank,
In a little domed hut,
With an underwater door,
That was never shut.

Tonight,
When his friend arrived,
Puffing hard for breath,
With sweat on his chest,
He was sitting outside,
Gnawing on some leaves,
That had been dropped by the breeze.

“My friend!
A mile down!
We have an appalling group!
Come!
Let’s make ’em drown!”

McCaw gave up his munching,
In favor of laughing,
And in between peals,
He said with zeal,
“There again goes you,
Always exaggerating and hating”!

It took some minutes,
For the muskrat to calm down,
Enough for the bobcat to speak,
And then they devised a plan,
Which would make those peoples scat.

**********

Now of course those peoples,
Were just having a celebration,
And happened to choose,
That for a location,
So they could swim and eat s’mores,
Knowing that their fire,
Was safely away from the shores.

**********

And so,
Off they went,
The muskrat and the bobcat,
Off to make,
The peoples scat.

There was a woods that ran,
Along where shore met land,
And when they got close,
They sheltered there.

The two watched,
With wondering eyes,
As the people put,
Things on sticks,
Then set them,
Atop the fire,
Until by the flames,
They were licked.

They let them blaze,
Until they had a black glaze,
Then blew them out,
And stuck them in their mouths.

Honda crept,
A little closer,
Sniffing the air,
Trying to tell,
What they were cooking over there,
But it smelled like no meat,
He would usually eat.

McCaw,
Who ate no meat,
Sniffed the air,
For there was something,
Delighting his senses,
But he could not place it,
As something he had ever tasted.

**********

Hotdogs and marshmallows,
Were on fire over there,
Being scarfed down by the dozens,
And Honda and McCaw,
Though not knowing what they were,
Decided they must get some,
And didn’t think to worry,
Of repercussions.

**********

The fire was crackling,
And the peoples were laughing,
Dipping cups into coolers,
Then pouring from big bottles,
And drinking down the contents,
When two unexpected visitors showed up.

Those hidden two had inched,
Until they silently joined the party,
And now sat there staring,
Drooling as they licked their chops,
Hoping not to be stopped.

But stopped they were,
Stopped right in their tracks,
By a man in scarlet swimming shorts,
Positioning at them a pistol,
No longer now,
Was the atmosphere blissful.

But neither wild animal,
Had ever seen a gun,
And didn’t know,
The man wanted them to run.

So there they sat,
Still amidst the group of peoples,
Assuming it was anytime now,
They’d get to share the vittles.

Some in the group,
Were scared into silence,
While others grabbed sticks,
And tried to join in the violence,
Until all at once,
Someone who’d had too much,
Awwwwwed at their cuteness,
And then at them rushed.

Stunned was Honda,
As he was grabbed in a hug,
By a raving drunken lady,
As was the gun-wielding guy,
And the stick-picker-uppers,
So no one noticed,
As McCaw moved over,
To quietly inspect and try,
The excess food,
The peoples had set aside.

A few minutes passed,
And the lady backed off,
Going for a little snack,
For her ‘new pet cat’.

Off she went,
Back to the far side of the fire,
And what a loud wail she sounded,
When she saw the muskrat’s tail!

For she thought it was,
That of a rat,
And you know how some can be,
When a wild rodent they see……….

Hearing that,
The gun-wielding man,
Turned his sights that way,
And let a round fly,
Thinking there was no time to be sly,
If he were to prevent,
Anyone else,
From joining his fireside.

But oh!
All he did,
Was knock over the cooler,
And off came the lid,
Spilling the contents,
And seeing the commotion,
To them McCaw ran,
To take advantage of this opening.

He was soon joined by Honda,
Who purred loudly as he ate,
Both stuffed themselves,
To their heart’s content,
And when they turned around,
There were photos being taken,
That later got sent,
To the news on Channel 7.

No one has since been able,
To have a lakeside gathering,
Without these two for company,
Kindly remember to bring extra,
For they’ve both got bottomless bellies.

Ocean Drama

Wow that’s really,
Beyond belief!
Said the fishie,
To the coral reef.

Rolling his eyes,
At the fishie,
The coral reef,
Asked hey what’s up,
And could you please,
Get to the point already.

You remember that blue whale,
Who went to Yale?
Well he just put up a sign,
Saying our Ocean,
Is for sale!

You don’t say!
Said the coral reef,
To the fishie,
Well thanks anyway!
For ruining,
A delightful day!

Yes way!
I do say!
Said the fishie,
To the coral reef.

All ears now,
The coral reef,
Said to the fishie,
What shall we do?
I don’t want to live,
Owned like it’s a zoo!

I guess it’s up to,
Me and you!
We must save the day!
Said the fishie,
To the coral reef,
With some dismay.

I’ll think on it,
Said the coral reef,
To the fishie,
We must act quick!
If our plans,
Are to be,
Worth a lick!

So the fishie,
And the coral reef,
Thought and thought,
Hoping that in the meantime,
Their Ocean,
Would not get bought.

Time is running out!
Said the fishie,
To the coral reef,
That blue whale,
Who went to Yale,
Just swam by,
With a stingray,
Who assured him,
He could pay!

Oh please help!
The coral reef prayed,
To the Mermaid God,
Whose name was Maud.

Cross your fins,
Said the coral reef,
To the fishie,
That legal papers,
Do not begin!

What about if we,
Invite them both for tea?
Said the fishie,
To the coral reef,
We can use the cafe,
At the bottom of the sea!

Yes! Yes! That’s an impressive idea!
Said the coral reef,
To the fishie,
Spelled tea and tortilla,
If it changes their minds,
We are not committing a crime!

I’ll go and make arrangements,
Said the fishie,
To the coral reef,
And come right back,
When I’ve planned the whole entertainment.

I’ll be right here,
Waiting to hear,
Said the coral reef,
To the fishie.

Ok! Ok!
Have a splendid,
Rest of your day!
Said the fishie,
To the coral reef,
While waving a fin,
And swimming away.

Only two days had passed,
When the fishie came back,
My that was fast!
Said the coral reef,
To the fishie.

The cafe,
At the bottom of the sea,
Is willing to play host,
To avoid tragedy!
Said the fishie,
To the coral reef.

We must hail,
That blue whale,
Who went to Yale,
Said the coral reef,
To the fishie,
And invite the stingray and him,
To go for a swim!

Together they called on Maud,
Who summoned the blue whale,
Who went to Yale,
Now we must hope,
That it’s a short wait,
For him to answer the God,
Said the fishie,
To the coral reef.

The Mermaid God Maud,
Sent an answer straight away,
They’d meet the fishie there,
Tomorrow at noon,
So he’d best go and prepare.

Slap me five,
And I wish you luck,
Said the coral reef,
To the fishie,
For it’s up to you,
To be sure our plans don’t fall through.

Away he went,
With little less than a day,
Before the blue whale,
Who went to Yale,
And his client the stingray,
Would eat the tea and tortilla,
Spelled by the Mermaid God Maud.

Around about eleven,
The blue whale,
Who went to Yale,
Swam by the coral reef,
The stingray following close behind,
And both of them,
Seemed eager to dine.

Soon they were out of sight,
Headed to the Ocean’s bottoms,
And the coral reef,
Hoped the fishie,
Was able to carry out the plans,
In a way that went awesome.

Far far down,
On the Ocean Floor,
The cafe proprietor,
Prepared tea and tortillas,
And before the guests arrived,
The spell sent by Maud,
The Mermaid God,
Was tucked inside.

Welcome! Welcome! Greeted the fishie,
To the blue whale,
Who went to Yale,
And his client the stingray.

Continued he hotly,
I hear some changes,
Are being arranged!
Tell me about,
Your plan to exchange hands,
And how you want to replace dear Maud,
With this here fraud!

The speech was addressed,
To the blue whale,
Who went to Yale,
And at the end a pointed look given,
To the stingray,
Neither of whom,
Seemed to know what to say.

So they swam rapidly,
For the door,
But the proprietor,
Had locked it long before,
Said he to everyone,
Let’s sit and partake,
Of what I’ve worked hard to prepare,
And talk about this,
Rather than throw these fits.

Plates and cups were passed around,
With little red dots,
On the ones meant,
To change the guest’s minds and hearts,
And here the fishie said,
Let’s first take time to drink and devour,
It sounded polite and accommodating,
But was really meant to give time,
For the spell to work its power.

It wasn’t long before the blue whale,
Who went to Yale,
Was followed calmly out the door,
By his ex client the stingray,
Neither one remembering,
What they had come there for.

They had no memories,
From the past few weeks,
This had been assured by Maud,
When she was asked to seek,
The best sort of spell,
To save all who call the ocean home,
From a living hell.

It’s done! It’s done!
We’re safe and can still have fun!
Said the fishie,
To the coral reef.

Wow that’s really,
A relief!
Said the coral reef,
To the fishie,
That could have been,
Such a disaster,
But now it doesn’t matter,
And at that they heard in the distance,
The Mermaid God’s silky laughter.

Our Association To The Ocean

While looking out,

Over the ocean,

I was wishing I could bottle some up,

Kind of like a little potion,

But after thinking that through –

It’s not necessary,

As there’s something ocean-like,

Already inside of you.

Every day we make waves,

Some on the surface,

And others internal,

Ourselves we may not realize,

But when seen through another’s eyes,

They move a bunch of life’s bits,

Causing eternal changes,

To happen in every size.

Each and every one of us is powerful,

In body,

In mind,

Or in both combined,

In some it’s kept hidden,

Then in others it shows,

Whether it’s been brandished,

Or has snuck out unbidden.

We can all be colorful,

And yes sometimes that’s wonderful,

Though at other times,

Not so much,

Maybe our good moods,

Are like the Caribbean Sea,

Beautiful,

Translucent,

And aquamarine,

And our bad moods,

Are like the Bay of Biscay,

Dark,

Stormy,

And seeking prey.

Woven here and there throughout humanity,

Something sure smells fishy,

Of course I mean that figuratively,

I am referencing those with salty personalities,

Hence is the notion,

That they’re like the ocean.