Inconceivable Saint

Exhausted and worn out and spent,
An angel of the highest Lord was sent,
One more miracle,
Left to perform,
So his halo,
Could continue to glow.

He slowly walked along,
Dragging ass,
While his mind sung a song,
Paying no attention really,
By the way,
His name was Beautiful,
And so he was……….really.

Inside and out,
A deliverer sent from above,
To bring faith and hope and love,
Was what he was truly about.

God spelled backwards,
He was man’s best friend,
That’s why he was just perfect,
For his master’s latest project.

The Messiah’s expectations,
Were seven wondrous happenings per day,
Fixing frustrations,
And making generous donations,
When they were done,
He would make meticulous notations.

It happened that today,
This angel was looking to perform his last sensation,
In order to stay worthy,
Of his current station,
Under the Holy Master.

So with that his mind was occupied,
But even so,
Soon he smelled some greasy goodness,
And saw a sign,
Saying that to eat something fried,
One only had to walk on inside.

This may not seem,
Like a likely way,
To find something,
That needs a miracle,
But he did,
He found the someone,
He was intended to,
And they looked downright pitiful.

When he eyed the bar,
We can all relate,
To what that unlikely messenger saw,
Hunched over a plate.

Tattered and torn,
And the tears in the eyes,
Made the person appear forlorn,
So the dog ran up,
And got between the person,
And their cup.

Sitting on the chair,
Beside the one going through,
A living nightmare,
He woofed and wagged,
Until their shoulders,
No longer sagged.

Soon they started to talk,
Pouring out their woes,
And though this was an angel,
Who could not speak,
It healed their heart,
So they could forge a new start.

Before leaving,
He was offered for reward,
A mouthwatering meal,
And when he finally cleared out,
From God he got,
The day’s final seal.

Mission accomplished!
Thought he with satisfaction,
Now he’d corrected a deep sorrow,
And would be permitted,
To work miracles on Earth again tomorrow.

One Halloween Night…….

A bad, bad being,

Was out hunting for a body,

The preference was,

One that was already dying,

It seems around these parts,

The sickly were pretty scarce.

He was running out of time,

For finding the perfect find,

Then the very next night,

In his sights,

Came two who caused him,

Great delight.

One a grandmother type,

And one a tri-colored flop-eared little dog,

Most of his sort,

Would just walk on by,

With a scornful snort,

But he was too relieved to gripe.

So,

Hiding behind a tree,

He started on his take-you-over chant,

But just as his soul,

Was about to start the dance,

That would have it infiltrate hers,

The dog stopped to pee,

And all went crazy.

The distance got misjudged,

And the next thing the little devil knew,

He was looking at the world,

From a four-legged view.

From this point on,

He resented the old woman,

He swore,

To concoct a plan,

And she would get ran,

Out of house and home.

Many times,

As he sat there by the lady’s side,

He passed scheme after scheme,

Through his mind,

But boy,

Lately it was tough doing magic,

Being a dog,

Was proving to be tragic,

Years and years went by,

But he was innocently outfoxed,

At every try.

One night,

He was in an especially rotten mood,

There had always been strange nighttime noises,

They seemingly came from inside the wall,

Being a demon,

This did not bother him,

But he decided it was getting,

High time to scout it out.

Using his seeing spell,

He projected his vision,

Until its strength was supernatural,

And what he saw was to him shocking,

It wasn’t the expected ghosts or goblins.

There was another world inside the wall,

And the fireplace was a portal,

To a land filled with mortals,

It set you down in a particularly pretty room,

In the upstairs of a mansion,

“Oh”!, thought he,

With sarcasm and glee,

“Wouldn’t it be a shame,

If I were to open this thing up,

And she just happened to fall in”?

But he did not get what he sought,

After he opened up the wall,

He thought for sure he could banish,

The pesky busy-body,

But she did not vanish!

She stepped back inside,

Carrying in her hands another,

And that is when his troubles multiplied.

Oh damn it all to hell!

This did not go well!

She was supposed to go there and get stuck,

My plan has gone amok!

It looks like it took too long to close the wall,

And during the stall,

She found her way back inside,

He gave a single sigh and rolled his eyes,

So much for a midnight escape,

And an all-night traipse,

There’d be no new-body search tonight,

He was still a prisoner,

And stuck forever in this self-imposed scrape.

**************************************************************************************

Mrs. Wall Nut,

Has a hut in the wall,

And a great swoosh of power,

Sweeps over it,

Every night,

Around the witching hour.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Spends her life,

Decorating a table-top,

Because she hasn’t got legs,

In which to hop off.

Mrs. Wall Nut,

Being a little loopy,

Doesn’t even realize,

That her place is spooky.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Is so used to hearing,

Strange noises in the night,

That at first this really vital one,

Didn’t even cause her any fright.

One evening,

Mrs. Wall Nut,

Was sitting in front,

Of her roaring hearth,

In the oven she had baking,

A vanilla bundt,

Her knitting needles,

Were clicking and clacking,

And at her side as always,

Lay her faithful beagle.

At this same moment,

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Was settling in,

For a cozy rest,

When her table-top unexpectedly,

Began to spin.

Mrs. Wall Nut’s mind,

For a time became foggy,

If you could see her,

She was clearly gone,

Though she was sitting right there,

And when she came to,

All she could do,

Was sit there,

With a blank stare.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

When her table-top stopped turning,

Couldn’t believe,

What her eyes were seeing,

The sky-blue wall,

Where the alluring artwork always hung,

It was gone,

And in its place,

Was just a hazy grey space.

Mrs. Wall Nut,

Couldn’t be sure,

So she shook her head,

But by then,

They grey she still swears she saw,

Had dissipated,

And in its place,

Was not her fireplace,

But a king-sized room,

Fancy and great.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Before her very eyes,

Saw a whole world,

Where there used to be a wall,

It’s startled her so,

That she yelped in surprise.

Mrs. Wall Nut started,

When she heard a yelp,

Then glanced wildly around,

For whomever may have made,

The hideous sound,

But seeing no one,

She assumed that maybe,

They had hopefully,

Already departed.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

May have seemed calm and quiet,

But inside her head,

There was quite the riot,

As she slowly looked,

From side to side,

For any place,

A wall might hide.

Mrs. Wall Nut,

Finally got a grip,

She carefully stood up,

So as not to trip,

Then she felt a mechanical force,

From an unknown source,

Forcing her forward,

So she took a shaky step,

Into that room,

Hoping through her brain fog,

That it would not be her doom.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Was finally thinking clearly,

Just as she,

Was about to pinch herself severely,

To know for sure,

She was indeed awake,

Something grabbed her pot,

In a very tight grasp,

Then she was brought,

Into That Place Beyond The Grey Space,

And placed upon a table,

Beside a still-hot cake.

Mrs. Wall Nut sighed,

Well,

At least she had not died,

When she set foot,

On that Other Side,

Then she took a look around and got frantic,

“Oh no!

Where is my dog?

Please say he was not swept off,

With the fog”!?

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Could not stay quiet anymore,

And so called out to,

The grey-haired human,

Standing at,

The cupboard door.

Mrs. Wall Nut,

Still unsuccessful at finding,

The missing mutt,

Now made a sound of dismay,

“Oh great”,

She muttered,

“It looks like the pretty thing,

Is alive more than,

Your normal flower,

What else could possibly,

Go awry today,

What in tarnation is causing,

The moving of,

Such awful powers”?

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Felt her temper flare,

That the little lady would dare,

Ignore her address,

Oh yes,

She thought with a smirk,

I know where the doggone dog is,

But I’ll not say,

‘Cuz this bitch is a jerk!

Mrs. Wall Nut,

Sat down and cut herself,

A big slice of cake,

Then as she began to eat,

Her plate started to shake,

She looked to her right,

And her new red plant,

Was sprouting arms and legs,

Then she looked to her left,

And spotted her beagle,

With a look on his face,

Of pure evil.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Was starting to feel bad,

As her capturer,

Was looking scared and sad,

So when the woman sat down,

To have herself a little snack,

She was about to politely,

Introduce herself,

When the dog crossed his eyes,

And smacked his tail to the wall,

With a deafening whack,

Which was a spell to make the flower,

Start to feel sour.

Mrs. Wall Nut,

Had now lost her appetite,

And she began to think,

That what she might need was a walk,

But before she could leave,

The flower stood up,

And started to talk.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Now felt better,

And was able to make nice,

With the little old lady,

But now how to tell her,

That her beloved pet,

Was out to get her?

Mrs. Wall Nut,

Couldn’t believe her ears,

She had had that animal,

For hundreds of years,

Though it had crossed her mind,

More than a few times,

To wonder at the fact,

That he had not aged nor died.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Here’s what she told her:

“I’ve been eyeing your dog,

Since I was brought,

Through the fog,

And let me tell you,

That’s not a dog,

He is a monster,

That needs to be,

Led to slaughter,

Or you’re gonna,

Be a goner”.

Mrs. Wall Nut,

Hated to lose her pet,

But she could see it was true,

He was Evil defined,

Masquerading as,

A sweet canine,

And it was time to bid,

This one adieu.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Other than the pup’s vendetta,

Aimed at her new acquaintance,

Was relishing this new adventure,

But it was slightly boring,

So on a whim,

She decided to test,

Her new limbs.

Mrs. Wall Nut,

Heard a scraping sound,

And when she turned around,

Her new friendly flower,

Was climbing downward,

She held her breath,

But the freakish thing stayed steady,

And did not fall to her death.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Laughed delightedly,

These things known as arms and legs,

Using them,

Was proving to be easy.

Mrs. Wall Nut,

Then offered up a hand,

And together those two,

Went out-of-doors,

To speak in peace,

On the white-sand beach.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Picked out a small table,

Underneath a bright blue,

Flamingo-covered umbrella,

Where she spoke her condolences,

For how the beagle,

Was actually a threat,

Rather than a dear pet.

Mrs. Wall Nut,

Prattled and babbled,

Of course she knew inside,

It would not be her old companion that died,

For of course he was no longer,

A dog at all,

But an evil entity,

Who had used her old pet for,

An possessable body.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Was relieved,

When they had a plan in place,

Although she did feel dreadful,

At her friend’s downcast face.

Mrs. Wall Nut,

Went back into her hut,

And pretending ignorance,

She beckoned the dog to follow,

While trying not to boohoo.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Was ready and waiting,

With the bait,

And before they knew it,

It had sealed his fate.

Mrs. Wall Nut,

She was surprised,

At how she felt nothing,

When life left those eyes,

But as if it were part of the magic,

When the thing left,

It’s like it committed theft,

It stole her loving emotions,

And forever broke her ties,

Of devotion.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

She was relieved,

At seeing the disintegration,

Of the elderly woman’s,

Supposed companion,

But of course this meant,

The curse that had been cast,

And held her fast,

Was the dog’s last,

And going back,

To her own side of the wall,

Now may not be,

Possible at all.

Mrs. Wall Nut,

Without a doubt sympathized,

Although that anyone may want,

To leave her hut,

Took her by surprise.

Henrietta Pointsetta,

Soon settled in,

She learned this seaside tropic,

Was a fairy town,

Surrounded on all sides by ocean,

And soon her frown,

Permanently turned,

Upside down,

She even took a job,

At Beach Bum Burgers,

Serving the sort of treats,

She had doctored up,

For the little dog’s murder.

Some Different Views Of A Shoe

Different eyes,

Light upon the same thing,

In one it ignites joy,

While it makes another’s world spin,

Boy oh boy,

Have you ever considered,

That what’s good for the digger,

May be bad for the chigger?

*************************

I found some new soles,

They are so awesome,

They make my soul sing,

Did u just say something?

I didn’t actually understand a thing,

I was just doing some imagining.

Oh,

Yes I do know,

I’ve a closetful already,

But I must make these beauties mine,

If it costs me my last dime.

Shoes,

They are so exciting,

You must have some in every style,

And each style in at least a few colors,

Buying these will make me smile,

If I run out of space,

I’ll just start putting them in piles.

*************************

A hole tunneled in a crack,

Of a busy sidewalk,

That is my front door,

I like being in the middle,

Of the daily hustle and bustle,

But there is one thing about it that I abhor.

They scare me,

And no matter when,

I need to come or go,

I am greeted by them,

No doubt one day,

One will be the reason for my end.

Some are fast,

And some are slow,

But they’re always going past,

These shoes that encase people’s feet,

Ready to squash a bug like me,

Who dares reside on their main street.

*************************

I’ve made a nest,

In the corner of a cupboard,

I really like it too,

But I may have to move.

Apparently the lady of the house,

She is scared of me,

A teeny-tiny mouse.

She was up early today,

And saw me doing,

My morning dart across the kitchen,

She screamed at me so long and loud,

I clearly saw her pearly whites,

Who knew the little woman,

Could be such a chicken?

Now I’m on one side of the room,

And she is on the other,

I see her taking off her shoe,

To try and bash my head in,

I hope I make it past,

That horrifying thing,

As I make a mad dash for cover.

I made it,

And she had a hissy fit,

I’ve now got an enemy,

And she can whip them off pretty fast,

They are a definite danger to me,

So until I move,

I guess I won’t be sleeping very soundly.

*************************

A big comfortable house,

Where I’m the one and only dog,

I have many toys,

And a bed with lots of blankets,

I’m allowed to make a lot of noise,

And I eat foods fit for a fancy banquet.

I enjoy all of these trappings,

But what I really love to do,

Is chew on a good shoe.

I miss my people when they’re out,

So I sniff around ’til I find something,

That smells strongly of them,

Very good!

They’ve left more shoes lying around,

I wag my tail,

And go to town.

Good Riddance, Mr.!

Mrs. Wolf’s husband was a liar,

So she ran from him,

Like he was Hellfire,

She ran off to this awesome place,

The Enchanted Forest,

So I’m told,

He says she’s disappeared,

And left without a trace.

I hear she’s set up with a prime lot,

On the corner of Riding and Hood,

Come what may,

Happen what would,

She’s the Baddest Bitch,

For miles around,

In that little enchanted town.

She knows life will get crazy,

And life will get hard,

She also knows she’s better off,

Without that retard.

Mrs. Wolf got a pet called Ted,

A tortoise who usually hangs out,

By the garden shed,

He helps her through the tough times,

He’s much better for mental issues,

Than a stupid box of tissues.

One day was undoubtedly going to be a scorcher,

Too hot to bake the bread,

So she got in her head,

A notion to visit the mall,

She fetched her purse,

From down the hall,

Then got in her Wolf Car,

And blasted the air,

To keep herself from torture.

Mrs. Wolf knew,

The mall was a danger,

As it was built on the border,

Of the Enchanted Forest,

And the Real World,

Here’s to hoping she doesn’t see that gossip,

Mrs. Morris,

Or her ex-husband,

Whose name is Boris.

Mrs. Wolf had quite the exciting day,

Like any lady,

Enjoying retail therapy,

And for the record yes,

She did see the enemy,

Mr. Wolf was also there,

But she managed to dodge his nasty ass,

And came home with a hott new dress,

And a record clean of a felony.

Mrs. Wolf likes to take Tortoise Ted,

For walks along the forest paths,

Every day about noon,

As a wolf and a tortoise together,

Is one weird sight,

She was thought by some,

To be crazy as a loon,

But she did not care,

What they thought,

She was free,

And could not wait to see,

What other wonders,

The single life brought.

In Mrs. Wolf’s Enchanted Town,

Time is frozen,

While she stayed young,

It is told,

That Boris got old.

Days went by,

Then weeks turned into months,

And months flowed into years,

Finally Mrs. Wolf ran out of tears,

And try as he might,

That lying Boris Wolf,

Was never able to find,

Her sexy behind.

Mrs. Wolf has no regrets,

Life here is as good as it gets,

Freedom to choose,

Her every move,

This is easy street,

Yes life here is a treat.

Mr. Wolf never did get happy,

Though he tried his best,

And in some situations,

Even got a little sappy,

He was forever the neighborhood outcast,

For his treatment of Mrs. Wolf in the past.

Mrs. Wolf is still alive,

But Mr. Wolf has long since died,

Good riddance to him,

She thinks with a laugh,

As she and Tortoise Ted,

Once more skip down their favorite path.

Ghost Dog

I’m here and I’m there,

I’m really everywhere,

I’m the Ghost Dog,

Traveling all around you,

As a paranormal fog.

Few have seen the real me,

As I died back in ’70,

But sometimes I am revealed,

If I notice you,

And you hold me any appeal.

I have traveled the country of my birth,

From Bangor to L.A.,

The reactions I get from those who see me,

Often leave me doubled over with mirth.

I spend my nights,

At fancy five-star resorts,

I like staying in suites,

Numbered one-thirteen,

But I’ll use two-thirteen,

As a last resort.

I stay for free,

‘Cuz when I float through the door,

They can’t see me,

Sneaking across their lobby floor.

I like to take a bubble bath,

In the relaxing Jacuzzi hot tub,

Then prowl the kitchen for dinner,

Quietly though,

So as not to cause a hubbub.

I’ll then float down the halls,

And out the exit,

I’m headed to the Tiki,

To snag me some fireball.

Daytime is even better,

It’s so interesting,

I go to dog parks,

And make friends who wear sweaters.

The doggies can see me,

But their owners cannot,

While we jump and growl in play,

All they see,

Is one pup on a leash,

Who’s for naught acting crazy.

This amuses me greatly,

Especially this one little old lady,

She one time shrieked at her fur baby,

“Misty stop it!, or I’ll tell Daddy”!

Silly things like this,

Make me pleased to be stuck,

Among those forever dwelling,

In an afterlife,

Spent neither in Heaven or in Hell.

It’s not often I materialize,

As an apparition,

But when I do,

Behold,

For I am quite the vision.

I am shiny red and pretty,

With bright brown eyes,

From time to time,

I lay at the foot of a bed,

So when someone awakes,

They have a surprise.

I suppose I’ll go on,

Decade after decade,

Each day busying myself,

With charming others,

From dusk until dawn.