Grandpa Joe’s Successor

I am The Ghost Of The Railroad Tracks,

All of you travelers,

Had better watch your backs.

I’m fairly new to the Haunting profession,

And though I did well with my lessons,

Something meant for fun,

Could turn as deadly as a loaded gun.

So you can better understand,

First here’s some history,

About little ol’ me.

Not all Ghosts are manifestations,

Of the departed dead,

Showing up as apparitions,

Full of ill intentions.

I was born as one,

The same as you were born as human,

I have a Ghost Ma,

And a Ghost Pa,

Plus one annoying sister,

Who bats her eyes,

And says ‘ooh la la’.

My family lives,

On The Wrong Side Of The Tracks,

Dead center through there runs,

The Railroad Tracks themselves,

Opposite us and to the South,

Lies The Left Side Of The Tracks.

Us Wrong Siders,

We are mostly good folk,

Although those Left Siders,

Will tell you we’re a joke.

All of us live in The Village,

The one just North of Town,

That seems to humanity,

Empty and run-down,

But to us,

It’s a true home-town.

We grow up similar to people,

Except we are invisible,

I guarantee before I told you that,

None of you,

Even knew,

We are there,

Though we are,

Among you everywhere.

I am now an adult Ghost,

Ma and Pa threw a party for me,

They’ve always been,

First-rate hosts,

Everybody to me made a toast,

And now in Haunting the Tracks I’m engrossed.

Some of us get easy jobs,

Such as Haunting Things That We Ourselves Don’t Do,

Human activities,

Such as eating and sleeping and bathing,

They are of a great interest to us,

So Haunting them does not take,

Much brainwork for creativity.

Somehow I got,

The gig for the Railroad Tracks,

And not to express negativity,

But this post has been empty,

Since Grandpa Joe died,

And that has been a long while,

I have some big shoes to fill,

Which will take substantial skill,

That man was a brilliant Haunter,

He was very sly and wily.

I’d like very much to take after Grandpa,

He had some top-notch tricks up his sleeve,

Sure to leave the Railroad’s passengers,

Either scared or peeved,

So far,

I believe,

I’ve come up with some things,

That would have him pleased.

In times past,

Never a train passed,

That Grandpa didn’t leave,

Someone feeling aghast,

Oh Hell yes,

He gave them a fear,

That was sure to last.

“AAAAAHHHHHHH” came the scream,

It was terrifically loud,

And woke the sleeping passenger beside her,

From his dreams,

That was caused by me,

It was my first solo Haunting,

She was drinking coffee,

Fighting off the hail to slumber,

So I sidled up beside her,

And blew bubbles in her coffee,

While my hand yanked down quickly on her ear.

I’ve got plans tonight,

For the Five O’clock Train,

I will make one traveler’s eyes see freezing rain,

Just while he goes the mile,

Through the center of our Village,

For all others,

The sky shall remain bright and sunny,

Then when he goes crazy,

They’ll all bet their money,

The One did not experience,

Something legendary.

I wonder how mean it would be,

To jump inside the front car,

And fast grab some young’un,

Tell the child “Shush I’m a friend”,

Then dart to the end,

Oh the laugh I would get,

When the parent would run,

After the little angel,

They sure would not understand,

That it’s just tradition,

And no harm was meant to be done,

It’s really all in fun.

I’d like to one day master,

Materializing as an apparition,

Then stand on these Tracks,

While the Train’s a-comin’,

Looking like a young man tempting fate,

Then when the conductor startles,

And activates his brake,

A fool of him I will make,

I will disappear,

As he’s looking witless,

Stuttering and trembling with fear.

If I could produce a rain of rocks,

Seeming to fall from above,

Then go from side to side,

Crossing over the roof,

Like in a juggler’s pattern,

I’d really love,

To see them all freak out,

Whining and yelling,

Scared out of their minds,

But by the time they go telling,

Of their Supernatural Adventure,

I’d have snapped up their proof,

That there’s really a spook.

You don’t have to believe in me,

The Ghost Of The Railroad Tracks,

But if you choose to travel by rail,

Don’t take this route,

Because I will not fail,

And Lord only knows,

If you will make it out.

Anything’s Possible

“I don’t know what to say,

I’m unsure where to start,

I’ve been called on to depart,

And with me I have taken,

Half of my mommy’s heart”.

~Lady~

Christened as Lady,

Known by pet names like Horsie-Ponie and Lady Lou,

And if I’m being rude,

I’m known as That Bitch, too.

Wherever this is I have landed,

I’ve heard there is a Wishing Well,

And if a penny it is handed,

It will send you back from whence you came,

Amidst the ringing of sweet bells.

Although I find it restful here,

With sunny weather,

And abundant grass so green,

I’m hoping to get back,

Before it’s been,

Too many years passed,

‘Cuz I feel me leaving mommy,

Was more than kind of mean,

And I can’t let the rest of our lives blow past,

Without again me her eyes having seen.

Yesterday I met a Fairy named Geri,

So special was she,

For she told me about the Wishing Well,

Then clued me in,

On how it could transport me,

Back to my mommy.

Now around my neck,

Hangs a penny,

In a unique pink drawstring sack,

So guided by instinct,

I puff up my chest,

And point my hooves West.

Miss Geri has told me,

The journey is not long,

In one week’s time,

I’ll be back where I belong.

When I see the Well,

In a twinkling,

She will reappear,

And her dust she will sprinkle,

On that penny I’ve ’round my neck,

Releasing it into,

The Mouth of the Well.

*************************

It’s been a fine journey thus far,

I’ve had luscious grass galore,

My water was drunk from the purest springs,

The taste was really something,

Definitely fit for a king,

And each night as I settled down,

Some grain was brought to me,

As good as any I’ve ever known.

Today will be the day,

I just had that sentiment,

This morning when I woke,

And now I am in my element,

Trotting fast,

This is no joke,

I’m excited,

And hoping mommy meets me,

Without resentment.

I stopped on top of a small hill,

Looking down at a shallow valley,

There it is,

Next to those two trees,

One palm and one white birch,

Despite being such an unlikely duo,

They were lovely,

And for just a moment my thoughts strayed,

As I thought,

‘You know,

Maybe together like that,

They should always grow’.

Spraying forth like a geyser,

Rainbow colored pastel waters,

Were pushed up,

And then rained down,

Emitting a most soothing sound,

‘O what a pretty Well!’,

Thought I,

As those waters,

Rose and fell.

So at a slow four-beat gait,

I went down to the Well,

Ears pricked with excitement,

I was so ready to seal my fate.

As I walked up to the Well,

Simultaneously came Geri,

Flashing a winsome grin,

She began to spin,

Shooting Fairy Dust,

Causing the sack’s string to bust.

There was a big splash,

As the Well accepted my cash,

Then Geri blew a kiss,

And I was on my way,

Past the abyss,

That had been separating me,

From Earth and the mommy I’ve missed.

*************************

I got back,

At the breaking of the dawn,

Geri the Fairy had set me down,

Quiet as a mouse,

Right at mommy’s house.

Since I’m now Undead,

Through the door I floated,

And stood next to the coffee pot,

Since I knew that’s where mommy would head,

When she finally roused herself from her bed.

Now here she is,

Walking toward me,

Not sure if she should believe,

What her eyes seem to see,

She stops in her tracks,

Giving herself time,

To take in the facts.

After what was seemingly forever,

But in reality may have been,

Just maybe to the count of ten,

She was on her way to me again.

Hugs and kisses were exchanged,

And when I answered her back,

In her own tongue,

Her face showed some shock,

But then we both agreed,

This new arrangement for my life does rock,

And will be lots of fun.

Now that we are both contented,

Many merry times get had,

Daily I give thanks,

That coming back was attainable,

For mommy is no longer sad,

And with my new voice,

Our bond has grown to something,

Utterly unexplainable.

Ghost Dog

I’m here and I’m there,

I’m really everywhere,

I’m the Ghost Dog,

Traveling all around you,

As a paranormal fog.

Few have seen the real me,

As I died back in ’70,

But sometimes I am revealed,

If I notice you,

And you hold me any appeal.

I have traveled the country of my birth,

From Bangor to L.A.,

The reactions I get from those who see me,

Often leave me doubled over with mirth.

I spend my nights,

At fancy five-star resorts,

I like staying in suites,

Numbered one-thirteen,

But I’ll use two-thirteen,

As a last resort.

I stay for free,

‘Cuz when I float through the door,

They can’t see me,

Sneaking across their lobby floor.

I like to take a bubble bath,

In the relaxing Jacuzzi hot tub,

Then prowl the kitchen for dinner,

Quietly though,

So as not to cause a hubbub.

I’ll then float down the halls,

And out the exit,

I’m headed to the Tiki,

To snag me some fireball.

Daytime is even better,

It’s so interesting,

I go to dog parks,

And make friends who wear sweaters.

The doggies can see me,

But their owners cannot,

While we jump and growl in play,

All they see,

Is one pup on a leash,

Who’s for naught acting crazy.

This amuses me greatly,

Especially this one little old lady,

She one time shrieked at her fur baby,

“Misty stop it!, or I’ll tell Daddy”!

Silly things like this,

Make me pleased to be stuck,

Among those forever dwelling,

In an afterlife,

Spent neither in Heaven or in Hell.

It’s not often I materialize,

As an apparition,

But when I do,

Behold,

For I am quite the vision.

I am shiny red and pretty,

With bright brown eyes,

From time to time,

I lay at the foot of a bed,

So when someone awakes,

They have a surprise.

I suppose I’ll go on,

Decade after decade,

Each day busying myself,

With charming others,

From dusk until dawn.

Afterlife Daydream

By and by,

When I die,

My biggest hope,

Is to become a Ghost.

As death does not end life,

Becoming a Ghost,

I could live forever,

Causing harmless strife.

Yes when I die,

That’s what I want most,

Is to become a Ghost.

If I was a Ghost,

What would I do?

You bet your ass,

I would haunt you.

I’d have to first be sure,

To hunt for those who once wronged me,

Work before play,

You know what they say.

Revenge I would seek,

You bet I would find you,

Then what I endured,

You yourself would experience,

No less than times two.

After retribution has been inflicted,

An eye for an eye,

To all the mean guys,

This life after death,

Would be a shit ton of fun,

Forever and ever,

Until the afterworld’s end.

I’d do things like lace the tea,

Of an overly virtuous person,

With just a little bit of whiskey,

For absolutely no reason,

And I’d make it a point,

To change someone’s Christmas decorations,

To some meant more for the Halloween season.

Just humorous pranks,

Such as switching the lights off and on,

At the home of some skank,

Or stopping an elevator,

With a haughty person inside,

Scaring them so they’d scream,

And wound their pride.

I’d execute tricks kind of creepy,

Like screw with a bartender,

When their back is turned,

I’d uncover all the bottles,

At some popular Tiki,

Next I’d drain the gas tank to strand,

A customer there who’s perverted and freaky.

Only time will tell,

If I get to become,

What I’d like most,

If I get to become a Ghost.

I bet if it’s here I stay,

So much fun will be had,

Years will go by like days.