Think Before You Speak

Earl was an eccentric little rabbit,

About which,

Everyone made quite a racket,

He was as ordinary as you please,

Really a lovely fellow,

But there was always talk about,

Him wearing a long black jacket,

And his strange love for eating jello.

Some squirrels say his jacket,

Is to aide him in black magic,

He’s not normal,

And he must be up to tricks,

But the otters believe,

It’s just his blameless lucky charm,

And fits naturally to him,

As much as his own arm.

The rest of them,

All have their own view too,

So I feel I ought,

To clear things up with you:

He’s a fuckin gem!

His many weird habits,

Make him unlike the other rabbits,

Like when he ventures out of the woods,

To stock up on people goods.

While he is gone,

Others quake with fear,

As their minds produce some crazy thoughts,

Of things he may be getting up to,

He just buys innocent things,

Like spinach and whiskey,

And lugs them back,

In a big black sack,

But he keeps his doings on the down-low,

So they get freaked out,

By what they don’t know.

He’s quite the early bird,

Each morning he happily wakes,

Then after putting the coffee on,

Heads outside,

Where he does a wild dance,

And the onlooking deer deem him absurd,

As they look on in a trance.

It’s not totally that tragic though,

See these deer don’t know,

He’s saying some words,

That encourage their meadow grasses to grow.

He won’t partake of his coffee,

Without first reciting a good-luck phrase,

That his mother used to hope,

Would be just a phase,

As it made her hair raise.

I’ll give you that,

Yes this could be a tad odd,

But it has done things amazing,

Like preventing a carelessly tossed match,

From setting their whole wood ablaze.

He grows alfalfa and carrots,

On all sides of his cottage,

And enjoys watching their progress,

During an evening sit,

On his wrap-around terrace.

It’s said he does strange things,

While out there each evening,

The Old Owl is always watching,

And says supposedly his lips move,

But put forth no sound,

And his crazy hand motions,

Have been told of for miles around.

In reality he’s just humming,

Relaxing himself with a merry tune,

While tapping his arm chair,

With his ice cream spoon.

Today he outwitted a tiger,

And stopped him from terrorizing a spider,

The truth’s still being sorted out,

Of just how that came about.

Orlando the Owl swears,

That last evening on his porch,

He saw him do a dance,

While swinging ’round a torch,

So it must have been a spell,

How else,

He asks,

Could he have made a tiger fell?

Truth be told,

If he could have done such a thing,

He’d rather use such excessive powers,

To fill his pockets full of gold.

Sunday is his fun day out,

One week he’ll go here,

And meet an old school peer,

For a game of solitaire,

Another week he may go there,

In search of a new cologne,

To spray upon his hair.

Sandra the Sparrow speculates,

That he does evil on these dates,

Why else,

She says,

Would he wander out so far,

Without taking his flashy car?

But he is not at all about Hell,

She does not know what it is she tells.

Here’s the truth:

He’s out there having fun,

Dodging busy noses,

As they’re trying to find out,

Everything under the blazing sun,

That he’s ever done.

Do you maybe have an Earl,

Somewhere near to where you are?

Are you maybe being less than fair,

While you sit there judging,

From your high and mighty chair?

Some Different Views Of A Shoe

Different eyes,

Light upon the same thing,

In one it ignites joy,

While it makes another’s world spin,

Boy oh boy,

Have you ever considered,

That what’s good for the digger,

May be bad for the chigger?

*************************

I found some new soles,

They are so awesome,

They make my soul sing,

Did u just say something?

I didn’t actually understand a thing,

I was just doing some imagining.

Oh,

Yes I do know,

I’ve a closetful already,

But I must make these beauties mine,

If it costs me my last dime.

Shoes,

They are so exciting,

You must have some in every style,

And each style in at least a few colors,

Buying these will make me smile,

If I run out of space,

I’ll just start putting them in piles.

*************************

A hole tunneled in a crack,

Of a busy sidewalk,

That is my front door,

I like being in the middle,

Of the daily hustle and bustle,

But there is one thing about it that I abhor.

They scare me,

And no matter when,

I need to come or go,

I am greeted by them,

No doubt one day,

One will be the reason for my end.

Some are fast,

And some are slow,

But they’re always going past,

These shoes that encase people’s feet,

Ready to squash a bug like me,

Who dares reside on their main street.

*************************

I’ve made a nest,

In the corner of a cupboard,

I really like it too,

But I may have to move.

Apparently the lady of the house,

She is scared of me,

A teeny-tiny mouse.

She was up early today,

And saw me doing,

My morning dart across the kitchen,

She screamed at me so long and loud,

I clearly saw her pearly whites,

Who knew the little woman,

Could be such a chicken?

Now I’m on one side of the room,

And she is on the other,

I see her taking off her shoe,

To try and bash my head in,

I hope I make it past,

That horrifying thing,

As I make a mad dash for cover.

I made it,

And she had a hissy fit,

I’ve now got an enemy,

And she can whip them off pretty fast,

They are a definite danger to me,

So until I move,

I guess I won’t be sleeping very soundly.

*************************

A big comfortable house,

Where I’m the one and only dog,

I have many toys,

And a bed with lots of blankets,

I’m allowed to make a lot of noise,

And I eat foods fit for a fancy banquet.

I enjoy all of these trappings,

But what I really love to do,

Is chew on a good shoe.

I miss my people when they’re out,

So I sniff around ’til I find something,

That smells strongly of them,

Very good!

They’ve left more shoes lying around,

I wag my tail,

And go to town.

I think I’d Like That

I’d rather be a tree,

This way I’d not be everyone’s focus,

Probably the animals,

Would be the only ones to give me any notice.

I’d rather be a dog,

This way I could laze around all day,

My biggest worry being,

If I’m in anybody’s way.

I’d rather be a dollar bill,

This way I’d travel ’round the world for free,

Going from this wallet to that hand,

I’d see it all from sea to sea.

I’d rather be a horse,

This way I could use my hooves,

To beat up my enemies,

And no one would disapprove.

I’d rather be a sea shell,

This way I could live on the beach,

Without the beach house mortgage,

Yes that would make life just peachy.

I’d rather be a parrot,

This way I could yak all day,

And people would laugh not be offended,

By the truths I’d say.

I’d rather be a Christmas wreath,

This way I could go in hiding almost all year,

Rather than deal with people,

Not as rosy as they appear.

I’d rather be a dairy cow,

This way I’d have no responsibility,

Except for giving you cream and butter,

With a mood of docility.

I’d rather be a television,

This way I could portray the bad news,

But since it would not affect me,

I’d not have cause to worry or feel blue.

I’d rather be a tiger,

This way I could be so scary,

No one would dare laugh,

Just because I prefer a life this solitary.

I’d rather be a book,

This way every day would be relaxing,

I’d just sit in a little nook,

Instead of doing things that prove taxing.

I’d rather be a flower,

This way I could be pretty always,

No more taking time for makeup,

And covering up greys.

*************************

No one’s wholly happy,

With who or what they are,

If we all were,

No one would get far,

It’s not complaining,

It’s knowing damn well what you’re worth,

Don’t just take what you’re given and smile,

If all you ever have,

Is the hand you’re dealt,

You may as well keel over,

And become just more dust for the Earth.

That Is Not The Reason For The Season

It’s not about eating candy canes,

Those were created to signify,

He who died.

It’s not about whose tree is prettiest,

They’re all wonderful,

Without a doubt,

But that’s not what,

The day is all about.

It’s not about a fancy feast,

You should be thinking rather of those,

Walking through your door,

For whom you cooked it for.

It’s not about the presents,

Yes the Wise Men gave,

To show their appreciation,

But this Santa thing has been blown,

Tremendously out of proportion.

It’s not about the lights,

Those too signify Christ,

And it really would not be a plight,

If you forgot to plug them in one night.

It’s not about the carols,

The day really will go on,

If you choose not to hear those songs.

It’s not about expensive ornaments,

They are simply,

Unnecessary adornments.

It’s not about the stockings,

They solely arose from a legend,

At that First Christmas,

They were never even mentioned.

It’s not about the Elves,

They came about,

Just to fill,

Your entertainment center’s shelves.

Would not our ancestors,

At that First Christmas be surprised,

With the way the day,

Has been commercialized?

People need to think on,

How and why the Season came about,

Before they go ahead,

And pull their wallets out.

Mid-December 2018: A Short Summary

Merry Christmas my ass,

There’s nothing holly-jolly here,

It’s a fact I wish,

I could just disappear.

Christmas parties just bring problems,

Not worth it to conquer,

At first they’re bright and merry,

Then out come the monsters,

Some hide within themselves.

Kill me now,

Why don’t you?

It would be better than dealing,

With the after-effects of this evening.

The food was fine,

As was my whiskey,

And probably your wine,

But then the complications come,

Proving that many are just dumb.

I’d rather just go home,

Maybe,

I should have come alone,

By myself it could be nice,

No one would be close enough to me then,

To start an undesired fight.

Some things cannot be fixed,

Things said,

I know were not misread,

And now,

My “friend”,

I wish I could hit your face,

With a ton of bricks,

Just remember the things done,

Are eventually gonna,

Make me run.

The Finer Things In Life

Whiskey and rum,

Made for having fun,

And getting frisky,

A magic potion,

To give you courage,

When normally you can’t budge,

Also a substance,

To help you relax,

When it’s time to kick back.

Lazy days,

With naught to do,

Other than feel the sun’s rays,

Settle in with a good book,

Your mind will sprout wings,

And allow you to overlook,

Shitty everyday happenings.

Morning coffee,

To grant you energy,

For dealing with crazies,

How it works is a fascination,

Let’s just call it,

A legal addiction.

Puppies and ponies,

So full of unconditional love,

When given the chance,

They’ll stick to you like a glove,

Much better are they,

Than our fellow beings,

Who are often phonies.

Money,

We are taught that it’s,

A bad thing to love it,

It is exchanged though,

For everything one needs and wants,

From lavish vacations,

To your breakfast croissants,

So see without it,

Life could not amount to shit.

Comfort foods,

It depends on the individual,

As to what they are,

But sometimes they are critical,

To float you past a bad time,

They’re like a miracle.

Cardio and weights,

Doing those,

Should not be a debate,

It’s great to make,

Your body hott,

All the while,

Unraveling your mind’s knots.

I’m sure you know,

This world is shot,

Try not to get caught,

Without the time,

For the activities you find divine.

Run Along Now

It’s time to let it go,

Turn the lights out on that shit,

And just get over it.

Hopefully you’ve learned a lesson,

But now you need to,

Get to steppin’.

Better things await,

Beyond the next gate,

This was never meant to be your fate.

It seemed meant to be,

At the time,

But already this thing,

Has passed its prime.

There’s a whole world out there,

It’s time to see beyond,

This doomed affair.

Something new,

In its own time,

Will find its way to you.

The beyond right now seems scary,

But this toxic situation,

Is saddling you with burdens,

You should not have to carry.

Just leave,

Go about your business,

There’s nothing here to grieve.

There will be fun,

After you’ve found,

The courage to run,

You will see,

Times bright as the sun.

Your true destination,

Will not leave you bumped and bruised,

Not even figuratively,

You are not meant to be abused.

Until you are satisfied,

It’s not the end of the line,

It’s only a stepping stone,

Do not let yourself,

Be confined.

Uh-Oh, The Secret Cookies Are Now For Sale

Behind the grassy clearing,

Where the unsuspecting tend to fall prey,

To the Big Black Bear,

Demonic Dominic,

There lies a wondrous place,

Known as Sugar Cookie Cavern,

It’s an old-fashioned sort of place,

And smiles cover every face,

At least they did,

Until today.

Under normal circumstances,

No one will stumble upon this quaint little town,

For to cross the clearing,

You would have to pass Demonic Dominic,

Who will surely scare you off or take you down.

Somehow though,

Some unexplainable way,

Her Highness Naughty Ness,

Has found the way.

It’s in a big, big cave,

When entering you will see a twisted path,

Which leads into this town,

That is hidden away,

And it was always a fucking fortress,

Until she came to govern it,

Her Highness Naughty Ness.

Such a charming, charming place,

At one time full of grace,

Until along came Naughty Ness,

And wiped the smile from each face.

Picture this,

Everything sparkles and dazzles,

With every color ever,

Radiated from a prism,

The grass grows neon,

And frosted cookies instead of flowers,

Sprout over every lawn.

People were content,

No work and all play,

That was basically their way,

Until that fateful day,

When along came She,

Her Highness Naughty Ness.

Their ancient barter system is no more,

She shook this town,

To the core,

When she changed their ways,

And painted it with frowns.

Ever since this place was new,

Things were there to take,

Whether they were made or grew,

It was free,

If from a plant or a tree,

And they liked to trade,

Things that they made.

The sky was always clear,

Sunshine permeated the place,

Until the day there was no trace,

Of the warmth and happiness,

This happened the day that She blew in,

Her Highness Naughty Ness.

Being sneaky,

She keeps hidden away,

In a castle she’s built,

High on a hill,

She hates being seen,

But boy is she,

Fucking mean,

She’s got a deep love for the green,

And will come by it,

Through any means.

Whoa now!

Don’t dare eat that cookie!

Though it was grown,

On land that you own,

It’s got purple icing,

And is needed on a tray,

For Her to ship off,

Right away.

She sells off their things,

For fancy gowns and rings,

From their exports,

She’s got herself a fine monetary source,

But for the lifelong residents,

Of Sugar Cookie Cavern,

This is becoming detrimental,

And they must put a stop,

To Her evil pattern.

She makes them pay,

For imported goods,

Their peaceful way of life,

She has cut it like a knife.

There are loaves of bread,

That hang from branches of each tree,

But they are no longer free,

You will pay Her,

One dozen frosted cookies for a loaf,

Or for you,

There will be no toast.

This self-proclaimed queen,

She insists the more worldly ways are for their own good,

She tries to make them ‘civilized’,

Remember,

She’s all about the green,

So she doesn’t see,

This is no prize.

For since the start of this place,

Sugar Cookie Cavern,

Has been a place of paradise,

Not mingling with general society,

Makes them happy as a gambler,

Who rolled sevens on a pair of loaded dice.

Through Her trades with the Outsiders,

The secret of their home,

Is about to be leaked,

She must be stopped,

Before it is squeaked.

They all had a meeting,

To save this blissful place,

And one man decided,

“What more could I lose”?

Then he put on his walking shoes,

And headed for the mouth of their Cave,

All agreed,

That he is fucking brave.

Old Adam went searching,

For Demonic Dominic,

He sat on a boulder,

Waiting and waiting,

His mission was impossible,

To converse with That Bad Bear,

Befriend him so he will agree,

To take out Naughty Ness,

Even if he must,

Drag her out by her hair.

Once he realized,

Old Adam was in his field,

He came out and slunk up,

Behind that huge rock on which he sat,

Ready to smash him like a glass cup,

He assumed his life he would take,

Yes in his mind,

Old Adam was already fucking gone.

About to take that final step,

The one to make him close enough,

In which Old Adam’s life he could snuff,

He sure got a shock,

When the man turned around,

And stared him down,

From atop that big ol’ rock.

It stopped Him in His tracks,

Never before had the Demon Bear,

Seen anyone dare,

To look him in the eye,

As he tried to catch them unaware,

And sentence them to die.

“You there!

You evil asshole of a bear!

Just beyond your field,

Inside that old cave,

Is my peaceful community,

We are asking for your help,

Ridding us of Naughty Ness,

I’m begging you to save our fortress,

Please help us take her out,

She has ruined our town,

And forced us to bow down,

To her haughty crown”.

It happened for Old Adam,

Though it most likely never will for anyone again,

That day he made a friend,

Of Demonic Dominic.

Together they walked to the cave,

And crossed the threshold,

Into Sugar Cookie Cavern,

Where they saw all the town’s peoples,

Awaiting their return.

There was some skepticism,

In colluding with the Demon Bear,

Trust issues you know,

As he is ordinarily everyone’s foe,

But it was recognized,

That indeed this was the only way,

For Naughty Ness to forever go away.

Late one night,

Soon after his arrival,

All the plans were finally in place,

First the Bear made her feel compelled,

Then made his way back to his hovel,

Where he waited on her,

She would be in a trance,

Unable to put up a fight.

The very next day,

She felt a strong need to walk away,

She walked out much calmer than she blew in,

And then Demonic Dominic,

Made her his next sin.

A celebration ensued,

When it became obvious,

That Her Highness Naughty Ness,

Was never by them to be seen again,

Then Sugar Cookie Cavern,

Was once more a captivating place,

Charming and full of grace.

Once more everyone and everything is free,

They are hidden away,

And that is endlessly,

How they shall stay.

An Outsider’s Jingle

R-rated,

Seemingly always hated,

But never be a mirror image,

Of anyone but yourself.

Haunted,

By a feeling,

Of never being truly wanted,

Will keep your brain a-reeling.

Take a break,

A break from life,

For awhile,

Leave the world behind,

Learn again to smile,

Go re-find your mind.

It was said by Cinderella,

We all need some sort of shelter,

Well go figure out what could be yours,

Go, go far away,

Get to doing it,

Leave behind this world,

That’s trying to make you,

From yourself stray.

Don’t come back,

‘Til you’re back on track,

‘Til all your problems,

Have been sacked,

And you’re safe,

From going Snap.

You’ll be recharged,

But still,

Don’t be expecting miracles,

Remember,

Don’t dilute your personality,

Just for others who are critical,

And insist on causing for you,

Troubles by the barrelful.

You are R-rated,

Seemingly always hated,

Haunted,

Because you feel never really wanted,

But don’t let these assholes make you feel daunted,

Be yourself,

Yes fucking flaunt it.

Jake, The Omnipresent Pheasant

Though knowledge of Him is not common,

Yes He is something of a phenomenon,

He is believed in by those,

Whose lives He has touched,

And to them,

His amazing deeds mean much.

He is often in the Amazon Rainforest,

Perched upon a branch,

At the very top of an old kapok tree,

From there,

There is nothing His eyes cannot see.

There are two sides to Him,

He changes faces on a whim,

Depending upon,

What He sees from that limb.

His good side is sweet,

This Him is one of the bestest creatures you could meet,

But rub Him on His bad side,

And you will surely meet,

Death by His beak,

No never again,

Will you rise to your feet.

When bored on His branch,

He will gallivant around,

Going from place to place,

He once found a bad guy and gave chase,

Ending his life,

Then helped out a homeless vagrant to save face.

Flying above you,

Wherever you are,

There is a Bird,

You don’t know it,

He’s invisible,

And has made sure He isn’t heard,

He likes to scope things out,

There’s always someone who can be watched,

Just in case it chances to be you,

You’d be wise to not do anything absurd,

But maybe if harm befalls you,

You’ll get lucky and be rescued by this Bird.

Ha! There’s been an accident,

Along Highway 95,

Help has not even had time yet to arrive,

But here comes judgement,

In the form of a Bird,

The one whose drunken fault it was,

He makes sure to leave him maimed without a word,

The innocent has died,

Secretly He sprinkles them with Living Dust,

To make sure they actually survive.

Jake could be compared to Karma,

The effects of your life affecting you,

No good deed is too virtuous,

No means of ridding evil too immoral,

If He sees something that needs fixing,

He will be there,

It shall be done,

No never has He not been victorious.