Not Quite Utter Nonsense

That cow jumped over the moon?
Cool,
But this one here,
Leaps over a lagoon.

One natural barrier,
To the other,
She’s done it so often,
It’s created a crater.

In her mind,
There’s a monster behind,
And so she makes her way,
To the other side.

But then,
Oh! Ah!
The thing has not gone far!
So it’s back to the opposite shore.

Back and forth she goes,
‘Cuz that thing’s so chilling,
Though unseen,
It’s crippling,
The way it’s nasty and mean.

**********

The best place to start,
Has always been at the beginning,
It tends to keep,
The mind from spinning,
Which makes a mixed-up feeling.

So here we go,
It’s time to let you know,
What started this cow,
Living such a shit-show.

**********

A few miles out,
From the mainland,
Is a tiny island,
Where there’s a circus,
Aboard a boat,
That doesn’t float.

It sits on the ground,
Where people come,
From miles around,
Just to hear the sounds,
And see the sights,
Of animals trained in tricks,
And walking proud.

As part of the show,
A cow bows low,
Then gets in a watercraft,
And begins to row.

One day a little baby cow,
Which the ringmaster,
Had recently acquired,
Was told that her training time,
Was starting now.

“Fuck this”!
Thought she,
“From this horror show,
I must flee”!

And so she thought right quick,
Of an escape,
“Because why”,
Said she to herself,
“Should my life be a disaster,
To please that stubby and pudgy,
Unpleasant ringmaster”?

“I wanna be petted and spoiled,
Fed and groomed well,
By someone who’s loyal,
And give chocolate milk,
For royals to drink”.

**********

Soon she put,
The wheels in motion,
And managed quite nicely,
To find her freedom,
By taking a swim,
In the ocean.

She headed towards,
A neighboring isle,
Off in the distance,
A couple of miles.

She thought it seemed,
Small and secluded,
But upon her landing,
It was large and prosperous,
Having vast fields,
Of open grass.

**********

Now this missing animal,
Caused the ringmaster,
To see red,
When he noticed her absence,
Soon after rising,
From his bed.

So being the type,
Of man he was,
He made a rash decision,
And called in on,
The local magician.

Then these two malicious men,
Wrote a revolting charm,
On a piece of paper,
With a magic pen,
And together repeated it thrice,
At the count of ten.

Now there’s a terrible tormentor,
Attached to her,
Causing this bizarre behavior,
But she’s about to get deliverance,
Following a coming,
Supernatural occurrence.

**********

For warring angels,
Are headed that way,
They’ve been waiting all day,
For nightfall,
So they can end this,
Once and for all.

Now it’s dusk,
About the time,
The little cow,
Usually loses her mind,
And these angels surround the lagoon,
Singing one of,
Heaven’s own tunes.

Before very long,
Here she comes,
And the demon,
Along for the ride,
Is sure as shit,
About to feel,
A change in the tide.

As usual,
She’s wild-eyed and prancing,
Because of that thing,
So menacing,
Then all of a sudden,
She’s stopping cold,
And her eyes don’t roll,
Due to the invisible aid,
Of the angelic barricade.

**********

And that was the last time,
That devilish creature,
Got her goat,
And overtook her.

It’s said total deliverance,
Can come from a song,
And apparently,
That’s not wrong.

That’s The Best Blossom

It’s an immense field,
Full of flowers,
But you can pick just one,
Never let the wrong one,
Say “I won”.

Don’t settle for,
Second best,
Walk to and fro,
Weaving through the blooms,
Until you’ve found,
The only one,
Who will pass the test.

Is there one flower in the field,
That won’t ever wilt and rot,
And is there a surefire way,
To tell if it’s,
The one you’ve got?

Go stand in the middle,
Then spin slowly around,
See them all,
Before you carefully choose,
So you don’t lose.

Front and center,
Or waving from the wings,
Lying face down,
Or sitting on the ground,
Sporting a smile,
Or wearing a frown,
Only one of them,
Isn’t a clown.

Select one who won’t wilt,
The second it’s picked,
One who will survive,
When taken from its home base,
And placed in a vase.

Not the one who dies,
The second snow flies,
Or the one whose petals fall,
From a little bug’s brawl.

Bored Bobcat

The night is cool,
The feeling heavy and blue,
And Honda is wired,
Rather than tired.

Honda is a bobcat,
Whose best friend is a muskrat,
Tonight when venturing,
Down to the water,
He saw the most fascinating fire.

Excited was he,
Until he saw,
The space around it not free,
But instead full of people-
Oh, how shitty!

Where, oh where,
Was Muskrat McCaw?
He could sure use his help,
For these humans must beat it,
Though none broke the law.

‘Cuz he can picture it now,
Right before his eyes,
His deer and rabbit friends,
Getting roasted and toasted,
And his own pond of friendly fishes,
Getting plucked one by one,
Then made into fancy dishes.

Off he trotted,
Staying concealed took care,
But it was a must,
For it would be bad to be spotted,
He knew McCaw was ’round about somewhere,
And he’d hurry to help,
Run these fiends off.

Luckily,
McCaw was at home,
So Honda didn’t have,
Very far to roam.

The muskrat lived along,
The river bank,
In a little domed hut,
With an underwater door,
That was never shut.

Tonight,
When his friend arrived,
Puffing hard for breath,
With sweat on his chest,
He was sitting outside,
Gnawing on some leaves,
That had been dropped by the breeze.

“My friend!
A mile down!
We have an appalling group!
Come!
Let’s make ’em drown!”

McCaw gave up his munching,
In favor of laughing,
And in between peals,
He said with zeal,
“There again goes you,
Always exaggerating and hating”!

It took some minutes,
For the muskrat to calm down,
Enough for the bobcat to speak,
And then they devised a plan,
Which would make those peoples scat.

**********

Now of course those peoples,
Were just having a celebration,
And happened to choose,
That for a location,
So they could swim and eat s’mores,
Knowing that their fire,
Was safely away from the shores.

**********

And so,
Off they went,
The muskrat and the bobcat,
Off to make,
The peoples scat.

There was a woods that ran,
Along where shore met land,
And when they got close,
They sheltered there.

The two watched,
With wondering eyes,
As the people put,
Things on sticks,
Then set them,
Atop the fire,
Until by the flames,
They were licked.

They let them blaze,
Until they had a black glaze,
Then blew them out,
And stuck them in their mouths.

Honda crept,
A little closer,
Sniffing the air,
Trying to tell,
What they were cooking over there,
But it smelled like no meat,
He would usually eat.

McCaw,
Who ate no meat,
Sniffed the air,
For there was something,
Delighting his senses,
But he could not place it,
As something he had ever tasted.

**********

Hotdogs and marshmallows,
Were on fire over there,
Being scarfed down by the dozens,
And Honda and McCaw,
Though not knowing what they were,
Decided they must get some,
And didn’t think to worry,
Of repercussions.

**********

The fire was crackling,
And the peoples were laughing,
Dipping cups into coolers,
Then pouring from big bottles,
And drinking down the contents,
When two unexpected visitors showed up.

Those hidden two had inched,
Until they silently joined the party,
And now sat there staring,
Drooling as they licked their chops,
Hoping not to be stopped.

But stopped they were,
Stopped right in their tracks,
By a man in scarlet swimming shorts,
Positioning at them a pistol,
No longer now,
Was the atmosphere blissful.

But neither wild animal,
Had ever seen a gun,
And didn’t know,
The man wanted them to run.

So there they sat,
Still amidst the group of peoples,
Assuming it was anytime now,
They’d get to share the vittles.

Some in the group,
Were scared into silence,
While others grabbed sticks,
And tried to join in the violence,
Until all at once,
Someone who’d had too much,
Awwwwwed at their cuteness,
And then at them rushed.

Stunned was Honda,
As he was grabbed in a hug,
By a raving drunken lady,
As was the gun-wielding guy,
And the stick-picker-uppers,
So no one noticed,
As McCaw moved over,
To quietly inspect and try,
The excess food,
The peoples had set aside.

A few minutes passed,
And the lady backed off,
Going for a little snack,
For her ‘new pet cat’.

Off she went,
Back to the far side of the fire,
And what a loud wail she sounded,
When she saw the muskrat’s tail!

For she thought it was,
That of a rat,
And you know how some can be,
When a wild rodent they see……….

Hearing that,
The gun-wielding man,
Turned his sights that way,
And let a round fly,
Thinking there was no time to be sly,
If he were to prevent,
Anyone else,
From joining his fireside.

But oh!
All he did,
Was knock over the cooler,
And off came the lid,
Spilling the contents,
And seeing the commotion,
To them McCaw ran,
To take advantage of this opening.

He was soon joined by Honda,
Who purred loudly as he ate,
Both stuffed themselves,
To their heart’s content,
And when they turned around,
There were photos being taken,
That later got sent,
To the news on Channel 7.

No one has since been able,
To have a lakeside gathering,
Without these two for company,
Kindly remember to bring extra,
For they’ve both got bottomless bellies.

Brand New Year

By this time next year,
May it all have came to pass,
By this time next year,
May tears have turned to laughs.

The doors that need to open,
And the doors that need to shut,
May they swing in the right direction,
To spring you out of your rut,
And knock bad on its ass.

The ones that need to come,
And the ones that need to go,
May they make their presence known,
In with the chums,
And out with the scum.

The demons plaguing you,
And the angels protecting you,
May they align with God’s plan,
For you to seek deliverance from devils,
And become a willing vessel.

The bad cravings,
And the good inclinations,
May they take their proper place,
The good becoming concrete,
And the bad sprouting feet.

The things you love,
And the things you hate,
May they not affect you unfavorably,
Your loves being beneficial,
And your hates not interfering with fate.

The Unicorn

For as long as anyone could remember,
It’s said a unicorn,
Has lived on the mountain yonder.

When was he born?
And would he ever die?
Was he maybe a myth?
No that can’t be,
Because some say he’s been seen,
And not just in visions and dreams.

He’s said to be really pretty,
With chocolate hair,
And flaxen points,
With the added flair,
Of a glittery silver horn,
Poking out from the forelock,
That is rare.

Some say they’ve seen him,
In the settlement,
At the bottom of the mountain,
Parading through the streets,
On his four fancy feet.

Legs lifted high,
As he trots,
Hoofs that match his horn,
Pound the pavement,
Each and every morn.

Or so they say,
But it’s happened that multiple people,
Have been in the same place,
At the same time,
And while some swear he whipped by,
Others saw nothing,
And say with an eye roll,
And a sigh,
“They must have been high”.

Many were sitting outside,
At the cafe,
On a morning kind of gray,
When one of the aged,
Said to her grandchild,
“Look at that horse!
It’s that one from the mountain,
Said to be wild”!

But……….
“What horse”?
Asked the small girl,
Standing in her chair,
Hoping for a glimpse,
Of that horse of course.

“That one”!
Exclaimed a young man,
One table over,
“See, he’s just stopped!
Check him out,
Before he runs”!

Now the whole patio,
Was in a turmoil,
Three more could see,
But no others,
And there must have been at least thirty.

The little girl,
Still could not see,
And told grandma stubbornly,
“Your advanced age,
Must be making you crazy”.

“For I,
Not yet quite nine,
Have sight far better than yours,
Which I’m sure is fine,
But definitely no better than mine,
So come now,
Sit down and dine”.

But grandma ignored the child,
For all the five,
Who could see,
Were torn between,
Laughing with glee,
And wanting to turn and flee.

Because the unicorn,
Was a sight to see,
Flaring his nostrils,
And pawing the ground,
After rearing up,
Then coming down,
But his eyes seemed more docile,
Than hostile,
It seemed he was having fun,
Watching the goings on,
Then just like that,
He turned and again,
Began to run.

“Oh look at the tail”!
Shrieked a little boy,
One of the seers,
“It looks six feet long”!
“Yes! It’s marvelous indeed”!
Grandma agreed.

The twenty-plus,
Who saw nothing,
Didn’t know what to think,
So soon all,
Ceased to speak.

Poor them,
Blind to the unseen realm,
Yes they were,
The majority,
But wrong they were,
And thankfully,
Didn’t cause a stir.

Now back up on the mountain,
The unicorn headed,
So he could get rested,
It was always so tiring,
After a morning run,
But it was also fun,
The reactions of the peoples,
While running through their streets,
Past shops,
And places to eat,
Placed among schools with bells,
And churches with steeples.

The unicorn,
Whose name,
By the way,
Was Horn,
Didn’t realize,
That most of the peoples,
To him were blind.

He got a kick,
Out of the excitement he caused,
Not understanding,
That a debate,
Had been ongoing,
Between those who had insistence,
Of his existence,
And those who had persistence,
That he was a fable,
Made to entertain,
At bedtimes and dinner tables.

He just knew,
That everyone became unbridled,
When he strolled through the city,
Yes it caused a commotion,
That made him laugh,
As he played it in his head,
All day in slow motion.

The tale of Horn,
Will continue to be told,
Throughout circles,
Both young and old,
Most believing it fiction,
But an esteemed few,
Know that it’s true.

Wanted

It would be so splendid,
If Hell would freeze over,
So all the things that it’s said,
Won’t ever happen,
‘Til Hell freezes over,
Could come to fruition.

Like a world not predestined for failure,
One where there are more,
Saints than sinners,
And more to adore,
Than to abhor.

A way to make a living,
That doesn’t require,
Kissing someone’s ass,
And handing them half your life,
On a silver platter.

Where people don’t settle,
For whatever happens along first,
But wait for that which without,
They would die of thirst.

Oh for a world,
Where there are no regrets,
For people said what they felt,
Without stupidly waiting,
As biding your time,
Awaiting a perfect moment,
Ends with disappointment,
That realigns fates.

If only free,
Was really without cost,
But there’s always a price,
And if left unpaid,
That free thing is lost.

A place where time could stand still,
At the snap of a finger,
Or the stomp of a foot,
And then linger,
So we could just chill,
And enjoy the thrills.

If only instead of,
Employing unrelenting backstabbing and gossip,
A person looked at another,
As a soul not a foe,
And realized that’s the only way,
To make Heaven their home.

Christmas Season Secret

Such essential accessories,
Take a picture with one,
For memories,
Hang it to be seen,
Season after season,
For no reason.

Do you suppose they feel froze,
When the wind blows?
Or do they enjoy being on a door,
As part of your holiday decor?

Vibrant evergreen,
Round and full,
Embellished with bells and bows,
That ring and blow,
When the weather brings,
Wind and snow.

Did you know,
At the far eastern edge of town,
There’s something supernatural,
At Christmas time,
Where any wreath hung,
Can communicate,
As though they’ve sprouted a tongue?

And they can see,
As though they’ve got eyes,
And they probably do,
They’re just not seen by you.

It’s mystical,
It’s unbelievable,
Remarkable,
And wonderful,
The way they tell the elves,
Who’s been naughty and nice,
While just hanging there,
Sparkling amongst,
The lights and ice.

What?
How did you think,
Santa finds out,
What you’re about?
Did you assume,
He’s all-knowing like God,
Or maybe finds out,
By committing fraud?

**********

I guess this is a shock,
Learning a piece of tree,
Can see and talk,
But please,
Don’t mock!
Things aren’t always,
As they seem,
Look beyond a surface,
And you may discover,
Dreams, screams, or schemes.

**********

All Over The Place

Better to be sure they know,
Than let them speculate,
So what if through their narrow-minded sight,
You’re no longer great.

How much,
Does one good man cost?
Count it up,
Maybe it’s good he’s lost.

The black and white,
Covered is small,
It’s the grey areas,
That apply to almost all.

Little does he know,
She knows his deepest knows,
It’s practically transparent,
The way to her,
The unseen flows,
So good luck tryin’ to hide it!

Why does the rain,
Have to bring joint pain?
When it can wash away all else,
From golden grain,
To an enormous freight train?

The fat man,
Who thinks he’ll win,
Judging others’s sins,
Is about to see,
The outcome spin.

When all else has failed,
A dog prevails,
Friends ’til the end,
No matter what,
Comes next around the bend.

Broken,
And never again,
Will believe words spoken,
At any rate,
None from hinting men.

But in the meantime it sucks,
‘Cuz in the meantime there’s the waiting,
And in the meantime there’s the not knowing,
Oh yes that’s fucking irritating!

Hi, it’s me,
The one always cast aside,
Like a seashell stuck in sand,
After the high tide.

Do you think that maybe,
The sun has a smell?
And it is actually possible,
For it to be hotter than Hell?

The color of chocolate brown,
Should be warm and inviting,
But they’re cold and icy,
Even when they’re spicy,
And looking at you nicely.

The match is worn out,
And the embers are dying,
Yet all throughout the air,
A fire is flying.

At the bottom of the ocean,
Many treasures lie,
But is the risk worth it,
If it’s just going to make you die?

A big fat waste,
Of our fucking time,
But somehow us people,
Keep being just that blind.

Coming home,
Such a joke,
All that’s there is you,
The one whom deserves to choke.

It’s not the person you miss,
But the emotions that were felt,
From their essence,
While you were in their presence.

Just expect it,
The sweet will soon,
Melt away,
Like cotton candy,
Overtaken,
By a rocky road,
Then be on its way,
Leaving you shaken and forsaken.

If there wasn’t snow,
I would go,
Reckon,
I’d be there in a second.

You May As Well Convulse Into Hysterics

Why so serious?
Why all mysterious?
Let laughter overcome you,
Fill you up,
Body and soul,
It’s one of the rare things,
That can make a broken soul whole.

Its presence,
Heightens the appeal,
Of a personality,
I look for it,
To come from deep inside the belly,
To consume the whole being,
So much so,
Mind and body become unworkable.

After quick observation,
If one doesn’t possess it,
And would rather stress,
Or beocme depressed,
Communication,
Must come to cessation.

It’s like some peoples,
Have a stick up their ass,
The temperament,
So ramrod straight,
They’re very easy to hate.

I knew someone once,
Humorless and solemn,
Who would have been,
One in a million,
Except he didn’t know,
How to laugh and relax,
So he had to be told,
To make tracks.

One of those all-natural cures,
That’s been around for years,
But no one uses it these days,
Without first checking it over,
Thirty-thousand ways.

A real miracle medicine,
All it’s values are pretty impressive,
It even stops excessive aggression,
Preventing you from committing sins,
Amongst other things.

Better to be loud and bold,
Than cowed and cold,
Despite what you may have been told,
Go ahead,
Get drunk on it,
Altogether lose your head,
Save the gloom,
For your own private tomb.

Huh

Is it worth it?
Time will tell,
If it’s the path to peace,
Or another highway to hell.

Similar situations,
Always cause such irritations,
But it takes a leap of faith,
To sort through the rakes,
And since someone must do it,
Here I go,
Sorting through it.

Funny how,
A split-second decision,
Made in the here and now,
Can either complete your vision,
Or cause in your life,
A major collision.

Unfortunate how,
You cannot know,
Until riches flow,
Or you’re dealt the blow.

Last I checked,
Hindsight is supposed to be perfect,
They call it twenty-twenty,
But would foresight really be disastrous?
Or also fucking fantastic?

How horrendous,
The former always shows its face,
Way too fucking late,
And the latter only exists,
For those with special gifts.

**********

Something to think about,
As you wear yourself out,
Waiting, waiting, waiting,
To see what’s the ending:
Is that your faith that’s bending?
In turn making your mind,
Do some overextending?

**********