No Ordinary Pony

Teeth that elongate,

That’s the way I was created,

But I’m glad it is this way,

As blood is so much cheaper than hay.

No doubt you’ve heard of vampires,

And I’m sure you’ve seen a pony,

But I bet you wouldn’t believe,

That there’s a Being around who’s both,

For any amount of money.

I have no idea,

How long I’ve roamed the Earth,

I’ve never really,

Put much thought into my birth,

Most likely I’ve been around,

Since the beginning of time,

Anyway,

That thought sure does make me seem sublime.

I wouldn’t consider myself demon-like,

Although I’m certainly no angel,

At times I suppose,

I’m a bit of a scoundrel,

But in no way,

Does this make me pure evil.

I believe I’m one-of-a-kind,

At least never before,

Have I met any exactly like myself,

Though I admit,

I gave up looking a millennia ago,

Searching was such a bore,

And seemed like such a chore.

*************************

Let me tell you what I see,

When I look at me,

In case you yourself know of any,

And so could tell me.

**************************

I look like your usual stable pony,

But there is one telling difference,

That sets me apart from others,

I am a loner,

Looked upon by other horses with bitterness,

I’m never welcomed in the herd,

And from me they always flee.

At first glance you’ll see I’m sweet as honey,

But you’ll notice when I get hungry,

My eyes will glow rose red,

And my four teeth front and corners,

Extend way out from my head.

Each person who has known me,

Has come upon me strangely,

It must happen this way,

So they don’t figure out,

That I do not age or die.

I’ve always just felt this inkling,

Saying someone needs me,

And when it’s time to start anew,

I slip off into the night,

And wander aimlessly away.

They think me an easy keeper,

I need just a minimum of feed,

But still stay plump,

With plenty of energy to jump,

Each time I wander into someone’s life,

They like the fact that I come cheap,

But I bet they’d freak,

If they knew what I got up to,

Each time they fall to sleep.

When the night creatures come out,

I gallivant about,

I’m on the prowl,

For a fat bit of fowl.

To them it’d be just gore,

I have no doubt,

It would make sure,

They did not like me anymore,

That’s why I do my food route by night,

So I don’t have to listen to them shout.

*************************

In between ‘homes’ though,

Is when I’m most at home,

It’s embedded in my bones,

The love to roam.

Laying in a field of flowers,

Free to devour,

Whatever I please,

No matter the hour.

Yeah, You Wish………..

You can start with “I wish”,

And end it however you like,

But it’s just a thought,

And will help you naught.

*************************

If only a wish,

Wasn’t just a wish,

If we could cast a line,

Then reel it in,

Like one does a fish.

If only wishes,

Blew in on the wind,

If we could just open up our arms,

And they’d be ours for the taking,

Free for just embracing.

If only wishes,

Could really be granted,

We could search high and search low,

Til we sought out a genie,

And our wish he’d bestow.

If only wishes,

Weren’t just our imaginations,

If they could be rained upon us,

We’d fill a bucket to the top,

The next time the clouds let it drop.

If only wishes,

Could be bought,

We’d work our hands to the bone,

Then we’d use all our pennies,

To buy many.

If only wishes,

Struck from out of nowhere,

We could head out in a storm,

And with luck its eyewall,

Won’t pass us by.

If only wishes,

Could be given as gifts,

It would seem always like Christmas,

We’d eagerly pass them around,

Hoping by Karma we’d be found.

If only wishes,

Could be planted,

We’d plant giant gardens,

Then from our land,

We’d farm them by hand.

If only wishes,

Weren’t just daydreams,

It would be nice to pick them,

To keep on hand,

For if we get stranded.

If only wishes,

Could be earned,

We could labor with a smile,

For that would be worth our while.

**************************

If you think about it,

It makes no sense,

To wish upon a star,

That will only fall,

Far away,

From wherever you are.

I’ve come to the conclusion,

That wishes are worthless,

I’d say I wish that wasn’t true,

But that would be pointless.

Mid-December 2018: A Short Summary

Merry Christmas my ass,

There’s nothing holly-jolly here,

It’s a fact I wish,

I could just disappear.

Christmas parties just bring problems,

Not worth it to conquer,

At first they’re bright and merry,

Then out come the monsters,

Some hide within themselves.

Kill me now,

Why don’t you?

It would be better than dealing,

With the after-effects of this evening.

The food was fine,

As was my whiskey,

And probably your wine,

But then the complications come,

Proving that many are just dumb.

I’d rather just go home,

Maybe,

I should have come alone,

By myself it could be nice,

No one would be close enough to me then,

To start an undesired fight.

Some things cannot be fixed,

Things said,

I know were not misread,

And now,

My “friend”,

I wish I could hit your face,

With a ton of bricks,

Just remember the things done,

Are eventually gonna,

Make me run.

An Improbable Holiday Happening

In case you happen,

To give a damn,

A thousand miles,

From wherever you are,

In a place quite inaccessible,

By a car,

Lives a Candy Cane,

Who is alive.

A Winter Wonderland,

We would call it,

It’s all white and barren,

And populated

By surly Snow Men.

Here in this Christmassy place,

Where there are many living Things,

One day there came,

A great storm cloud,

There were gusty winds,

That were terrible loud,

It soon burst forth,

With a sugary rain,

As down poured Candy Canes.

Most were devoured,

By all the Snow Men,

But one was spared,

And as he grew up,

It was declared,

That he was sent,

To make the Snow Men repent.

You see these surly Snow Men,

Did many crimes,

During their lifetimes,

Because in this lawless land,

One could do whatever,

Without reprimand.

Due to his sweet nature,

The Candy Cane became known,

As Mr. Sugar Cane,

And at the age of ten,

Learned his magical powers,

Permitted him to,

Think of a spot,

And be transported there,

On the dot.

Through books he learned,

About far-off places,

Where he went,

To meet new faces.

Most places he visited,

Just once but maybe twice,

‘Til he happened upon,

A jolly couple,

Old and fat,

And always happily chuckling,

The Mr. made toy trains for fun,

And the Mrs. had a barn,

She kept full of pet fawns.

Mr. Sugar Cane,

Visited this place often,

He loved the winter weather,

And the way everyone there,

Got on well together.

One day while conversing,

With old Nick and Mary,

Talk turned to the Snow Men,

He started cursing,

And told of their crimes,

Then expressed a wish for his home,

To experience more peaceful times.

It was proposed by Nick,

That he could employ,

These naughty boys,

To make tons of toys.

A great spell could be cast,

For them to forget their past,

He would call them Elves,

And curse them to always,

Keep toys on his workshop’s shelves.

Once a year,

Old Nick would deliver,

These toys to bring cheer,

To small boys and girls,

All over the world.

Even the deer volunteered,

To help with formulating,

This Master Plan,

And soon another spell was developed,

Fitting them to fly,

Now they could take,

Old Nick on the deliveries,

As with his old van,

He’d never make them on time.

That night when the Candy Cane returned home,

He had some magic stuff,

All sparkly and blue,

He went from place to place,

Where each Snow Man dwelled,

And this dust was felled,

It would take effect,

When next they crossed,

Over their doorstep.

They would be conveyed very quickly,

To the world of Nick and Mary,

Now called North Pole,

Where they were unknowingly slaves for life,

Toymaking forever,

With no time to cause strife.

Mr. Sugar Cane is still there,

In his Winter Wonderland,

Along with many other living Things,

Who think the place grand.

His best friend is a Christmas stocking,

Now in our world,

That would surely set people to talking,

But here,

It’s really not too shocking.

Whether or not you believe it,

This story should not be scorned,

As this really was how,

The North Pole got born.

Turkeys Hate Thanksgiving

Tucker Turkey here,

And I’ve just learned that people,

Have a funny way of showing they are thankful,

And I think that it is dreadful.

They must be mad,

I hear a feast is had,

And turkey meat,

Is the main fare on to eat.

Who decided we are good to eat?

Who came up with stuffing us,

And calling it a treat?

I won’t accept this fate,

I won’t, I won’t, I won’t!

Sorry Mr. Farmer,

If your plans are shattered,

But I won’t be being roasted,

And presented on a platter,

I don’t care if you starve,

It won’t be me you carve!

I thought I had the good life here,

I am so very fond,

Of my lazy days spent by the pond,

I’d not have guessed,

There were plans to kill me off,

Like one of the poison pests.

In one week to the day,

Light will dawn,

On their holiday,

So I must fly away,

To prevent becoming prey.

I think I’ll be a city bird,

In a paradise,

Where the weather’s always warm,

And killing their own meal,

Is not the people’s norm.

I’ve been told Miami’s marvelous,

And L.A. is lovely,

I wonder if the Sahara,

Would be satisfying?

To which of these places,

With year-round sun,

Should I run?

********************

I ended up in Vegas,

Where I soon became famous,

So shove it farmer,

‘Cuz it looks like it is certain,

That for me it’s not yet curtains.

I like the casinos and the shows,

And how at night,

Everything glows,

Each day I feel excitement,

Here is so different from the country,

Where it was mostly silent.

Yes this city’s full of charm,

And I do not miss the farm,

But yes Mr. Farmer,

I most definitely do,

Wish you harm!

Mountain Travels

I’m going through the Smokey Mountains,

Somewhere in Tennessee,

All by myself,

Yup only me.

My, my,

This place is dark and empty,

And I swear,

The Lord Almighty could come to here,

And I would mistake him for Lucifer,

Here to help promote fear.

Picturing what’s waiting,

On the other side,

Helps me to,

Endure the eerie ride.

A monster awaits me,

Behind that tree,

Any moment now,

It will reach out and grab me.

While I wind my way,

Around each bend,

Thoughts such as this,

Occupy my head,

And even though it’s not that likely,

I’m paranoid,

These monsters want me dead.

These roads are vacant,

No matter what others are on my same path,

There’s not even one street lamp in sight,

And I wonder,

Do they too,

Imagine a monster’s wrath?

These terrifying mountain roads,

Mile after endless mile,

They are so terrorizing,

While I’m passing through here,

There’s nothing that would,

Entice a smile.

Any and every,

Creepy tale I’ve ever heard,

They no longer seem absurd,

The one of alien abduction especially,

Has me right now in a most fearsome reverie.

Evil sorceresses and sorcerers,

Practicing their darkened magic,

Oh I hope that I am wrong,

For I imagine a baker’s dozen,

Waiting on a scapegoat to hijack.

Scary movie scenes reel through my mind,

Hauntings and gore and demonic possessions,

These horrors have always horrified me,

But never until now did I think,

That maybe they could become reality.

Up ahead I see a shadow person,

Apparently yes,

This nightmare can worsen,

So I turn up my speaker volume,

Hoping to be distracted,

And pray for the demons,

To be extracted.

A Re-Written Fairy Tale

Today I must,

For you re-write,

The story of Snow White,

As you read it through,

It may indeed pale,

In comparison to the original tale,

But I swear to you,

Each word is true.

Inside a vast forest,

Deep inside and to the North,

Lies a comely cottage,

Inhabited by a beauty called Snow White,

Who lives a simple life,

Happy and at one,

With our Mother Earth.

Each day is different though the same,

She wanders out,

And navigates her way about,

Picking herbs and berries,

Until she has all that she can carry.

Often she will spy,

A pretty bird in a tree up high,

Or an interesting flower swaying to and fro,

In the valley not far below,

But nothing could prepare her to see,

What she saw this morning,

They were a seriously scary,

And ugly thing to see.

A midget and a skeleton,

From the back yea sure,

They only looked like a couple of gentleman,

But upon them hearing our Snow White,

They stopped and turned around,

And there her heart nearly stopped,

Yes it plummeted to the ground,

And her scream was heard,

For quite a distance around.

You see she was used to,

Conversing with the animals,

And the occasional passerby,

Normally those out and about this early,

Were nothing like this evil looking,

Spine chilling crew of two.

Once her heart beat settled down,

She looked to them with a frown,

And though their words then were polite,

When they walked away,

She could hear them laughing about her fright.

Unused to interruptions such as these,

In her commonly calm grove of trees,

Since normally the type to pass through,

Were friendly and sincere,

She went to see Queen Aimee,

Knowing she would lend an ear.

After a talk and a drink,

Snow White was calmer,

And made her way back home to think,

Then at some point she fell asleep,

And awoke knowing just,

What to do to these creeps.

She had to bide her time,

Not just execute her plan on a dime,

She decided she would wait,

For Halloween to come around,

Then for sure this midget and this skeleton,

Would fall victim to her bait.

Her daily routine now has her on edge,

Never has she been so uncomfortable,

In what is normally her element,

The birds are no longer as beautiful,

Nor the flowers as fragrant.

Still though she powers through,

She must,

As the things she gathers,

Are her livelihood,

So she deals with these two daily,

While out on her strolls,

And the things she hears from them,

Are never very good.

What used to be so pleasant,

Was now nerve wracking and stressful,

There were still the lovely encounters,

With forest creatures and neighbors,

But no matter how much good was present,

Seeing those two would add a touch of dreadful.

While picking berries with Queen Aimee,

At a crossroads near her cottage,

Snow White could see the midget,

He was going about his business,

A slight scowl on his face,

She wished then that she could drown him,

In a pot of piping-hot porridge,

Especially when along came his skeleton,

And together they started speaking of her,

The lies they spoke were so vicious,

There was no way now,

For them to ever earn her forgiveness.

As the summer wore on,

Fall settled upon Snow White’s woods,

And for her plan,

She began to gather,

The needed goods.

She could see without a doubt,

That the midget and the skeleton,

Needed to be taken out,

They always schooled their face,

Into a friendly mask,

Until the unlucky one was gone from their space,

Then insulting talk and mean laughter would commence.

These two evil boys went out of their way,

With snide comments,

And nasty looks,

Their despicable behavior,

Made them many enemies,

Amongst this lot of trees.

Inside her cottage,

The cauldron smoked and bubbled,

With a brew so potent,

It would take only a moment,

For them to go under,

And leave Snow White and her woods,

Again untroubled.

Before long the day arrived,

Time for the annual Halloween bash,

All the forest folk were invited,

Even those two known as,

The neighborhood trash.

A great array of gourmet dishes,

Prepared exclusively by our Snow White,

Were set up on a massive table,

Bathed in colorful flashy lights.

There was a name card at each seat,

And two had beside them,

An extra-special treat,

A piece of her famous apple pie,

With just enough poison,

To not quite make them die.

First there was casino card games and some dancing,

Then to the food tables,

Everyone started advancing,

While they all filled their plates,

Snow White snuck off to hide,

To watch the midget and the skeleton,

Devour their food,

And then her bait.

Soon it was time for everyone to go,

All were so buzzed and full,

No one noticed the two troublemakers,

Had been brought down,

By their resident baker.

She dragged them inside,

And left them to a lifelong nap,

Where Karma could complete the work,

Their princesses never showed,

At the humble abode,

And as their lips never received their kiss,

They were forced to stay,

Forever like this.

Wandering Mind

Are you aware your mind has wings?

It flies you here and there,

By the way of thinking things.

Just the other day,

I was flown away,

I went all the way,

To a city called L.A.,

I saw Rodeo Drive,

And Sunset Boulevard,

Yea leaving there was really hard.

I remember once being transported,

To another century,

While there I did get courted,

By Grand Duke Gregory.

At a time when I was feeling blue,

In my mind I traveled to,

The glorious Granby Zoo,

There I was untroubled,

And from my heart,

Laughter bubbled.

About a month ago,

I happened to go for a visit,

To a place most exquisite,

There had food most decadent,

Not that that is even relevant,

But I love food so,

And wow, their cookie dough!

I am about to take a trip,

On a fancy ship,

Work I plan to skip,

Maybe I’ll even be a pig,

And eat lots of chips,

Unless before I go,

I somehow get a grip.

Where will you wander?

Will it be just over yonder?

Or will you head far off,

To some place warm and soft?

The Finer Things In Life

Whiskey and rum,

Made for having fun,

And getting frisky,

A magic potion,

To give you courage,

When normally you can’t budge,

Also a substance,

To help you relax,

When it’s time to kick back.

Lazy days,

With naught to do,

Other than feel the sun’s rays,

Settle in with a good book,

Your mind will sprout wings,

And allow you to overlook,

Shitty everyday happenings.

Morning coffee,

To grant you energy,

For dealing with crazies,

How it works is a fascination,

Let’s just call it,

A legal addiction.

Puppies and ponies,

So full of unconditional love,

When given the chance,

They’ll stick to you like a glove,

Much better are they,

Than our fellow beings,

Who are often phonies.

Money,

We are taught that it’s,

A bad thing to love it,

It is exchanged though,

For everything one needs and wants,

From lavish vacations,

To your breakfast croissants,

So see without it,

Life could not amount to shit.

Comfort foods,

It depends on the individual,

As to what they are,

But sometimes they are critical,

To float you past a bad time,

They’re like a miracle.

Cardio and weights,

Doing those,

Should not be a debate,

It’s great to make,

Your body hott,

All the while,

Unraveling your mind’s knots.

I’m sure you know,

This world is shot,

Try not to get caught,

Without the time,

For the activities you find divine.

Good Riddance, Mr.!

Mrs. Wolf’s husband was a liar,

So she ran from him,

Like he was Hellfire,

She ran off to this awesome place,

The Enchanted Forest,

So I’m told,

He says she’s disappeared,

And left without a trace.

I hear she’s set up with a prime lot,

On the corner of Riding and Hood,

Come what may,

Happen what would,

She’s the Baddest Bitch,

For miles around,

In that little enchanted town.

She knows life will get crazy,

And life will get hard,

She also knows she’s better off,

Without that retard.

Mrs. Wolf got a pet called Ted,

A tortoise who usually hangs out,

By the garden shed,

He helps her through the tough times,

He’s much better for mental issues,

Than a stupid box of tissues.

One day was undoubtedly going to be a scorcher,

Too hot to bake the bread,

So she got in her head,

A notion to visit the mall,

She fetched her purse,

From down the hall,

Then got in her Wolf Car,

And blasted the air,

To keep herself from torture.

Mrs. Wolf knew,

The mall was a danger,

As it was built on the border,

Of the Enchanted Forest,

And the Real World,

Here’s to hoping she doesn’t see that gossip,

Mrs. Morris,

Or her ex-husband,

Whose name is Boris.

Mrs. Wolf had quite the exciting day,

Like any lady,

Enjoying retail therapy,

And for the record yes,

She did see the enemy,

Mr. Wolf was also there,

But she managed to dodge his nasty ass,

And came home with a hott new dress,

And a record clean of a felony.

Mrs. Wolf likes to take Tortoise Ted,

For walks along the forest paths,

Every day about noon,

As a wolf and a tortoise together,

Is one weird sight,

She was thought by some,

To be crazy as a loon,

But she did not care,

What they thought,

She was free,

And could not wait to see,

What other wonders,

The single life brought.

In Mrs. Wolf’s Enchanted Town,

Time is frozen,

While she stayed young,

It is told,

That Boris got old.

Days went by,

Then weeks turned into months,

And months flowed into years,

Finally Mrs. Wolf ran out of tears,

And try as he might,

That lying Boris Wolf,

Was never able to find,

Her sexy behind.

Mrs. Wolf has no regrets,

Life here is as good as it gets,

Freedom to choose,

Her every move,

This is easy street,

Yes life here is a treat.

Mr. Wolf never did get happy,

Though he tried his best,

And in some situations,

Even got a little sappy,

He was forever the neighborhood outcast,

For his treatment of Mrs. Wolf in the past.

Mrs. Wolf is still alive,

But Mr. Wolf has long since died,

Good riddance to him,

She thinks with a laugh,

As she and Tortoise Ted,

Once more skip down their favorite path.