A Re-Written Fairy Tale

Today I must,

For you re-write,

The story of Snow White,

As you read it through,

It may indeed pale,

In comparison to the original tale,

But I swear to you,

Each word is true.

 

Inside a vast forest,

Deep inside and to the North,

Lies a comely cottage,

Inhabited by a beauty called Snow White,

Who lives a simple life,

Happy and at one,

With our Mother Earth.

 

Each day is different though the same,

She wanders out,

And navigates her way about,

Picking herbs and berries,

Until she has all that she can carry.

 

Often she will spy,

A pretty bird in a tree up high,

Or an interesting flower swaying to and fro,

In the valley not far below,

But nothing could prepare her to see,

What she saw this morning,

They were a seriously scary,

And ugly thing to see.

 

A midget and a skeleton,

From the back yea sure,

They only looked like a couple of gentleman,

But upon them hearing our Snow White,

They stopped and turned around,

And there her heart nearly stopped,

Yes it plummeted to the ground,

And her scream was heard,

For quite a distance around.

 

You see she was used to,

Conversing with the animals,

And the occasional passerby,

Normally those out and about this early,

Were nothing like this evil looking,

Spine chilling crew of two.

 

Once her heart beat settled down,

She looked to them with a frown,

And though their words then were polite,

When they walked away,

She could hear them laughing about her fright.

 

Unused to interruptions such as these,

In her commonly calm grove of trees,

Since normally the type to pass through,

Were friendly and sincere,

She went to see Queen Aimee,

Knowing she would lend an ear.

 

After a talk and a drink,

Snow White was calmer,

And made her way back home to think,

Then at some point she fell asleep,

And awoke knowing just,

What to do to these creeps.

 

She had to bide her time,

Not just execute her plan on a dime,

She decided she would wait,

For Halloween to come around,

Then for sure this midget and this skeleton,

Would fall victim to her bait.

 

Her daily routine now has her on edge,

Never has she been so uncomfortable,

In what is normally her element,

The birds are no longer as beautiful,

Nor the flowers as fragrant.

 

Still though she powers through,

She must,

As the things she gathers,

Are her livelihood,

So she deals with these two daily,

While out on her strolls,

And the things she hears from them,

Are never very good.

 

What used to be so pleasant,

Was now nerve wracking and stressful,

There were still the lovely encounters,

With forest creatures and neighbors,

But no matter how much good was present,

Seeing those two would add a touch of dreadful.

 

While picking berries with Queen Aimee,

At a crossroads near her cottage,

Snow White could see the midget,

He was going about his business,

A slight scowl on his face,

She wished then that she could drown him,

In a pot of piping-hot porridge,

Especially when along came his skeleton,

And together they started speaking of her,

The lies they spoke were so vicious,

There was no way now,

For them to ever earn her forgiveness.

 

As the summer wore on,

Fall settled upon Snow White’s woods,

And for her plan,

She began to gather,

The needed goods.

 

She could see without a doubt,

That the midget and the skeleton,

Needed to be taken out,

They always schooled their face,

Into a friendly mask,

Until the unlucky one was gone from their space,

Then insulting talk and mean laughter would commence.

 

These two evil boys went out of their way,

With snide comments,

And nasty looks,

Their despicable behavior,

Made them many enemies,

Amongst this lot of trees.

 

Inside her cottage,

The cauldron smoked and bubbled,

With a brew so potent,

It would take only a moment,

For them to go under,

And leave Snow White and her woods,

Again untroubled.

 

Before long the day arrived,

Time for the annual Halloween bash,

All the forest folk were invited,

Even those two known as,

The neighborhood trash.

 

A great array of gourmet dishes,

Prepared exclusively by our Snow White,

Were set up on a massive table,

Bathed in colorful flashy lights.

 

There was a name card at each seat,

And two had beside them,

An extra-special treat,

A piece of her famous apple pie,

With just enough poison,

To not quite make them die.

 

First there was casino card games and some dancing,

Then to the food tables,

Everyone started advancing,

While they all filled their plates,

Snow White snuck off to hide,

To watch the midget and the skeleton,

Devour their food,

And then her bait.

 

Soon it was time for everyone to go,

All were so buzzed and full,

No one noticed the two troublemakers,

Had been brought down,

By their resident baker.

 

She dragged them inside,

And left them to a lifelong nap,

Where Karma could complete the work,

Their princesses never showed,

At the humble abode,

And as their lips never received their kiss,

They were forced to stay,

Forever like this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good Riddance, Mr.!

Mrs. Wolf’s husband was a liar,

So she ran from him,

Like he was Hellfire,

She ran off to this awesome place,

The Enchanted Forest,

So I’m told,

He says she’s disappeared,

And left without a trace.

 

I hear she’s set up with a prime lot,

On the corner of Riding and Hood,

Come what may,

Happen what would,

She’s the Baddest Bitch,

For miles around,

In that little enchanted town.

 

She knows life will get crazy,

And life will get hard,

She also knows she’s better off,

Without that retard.

 

Mrs. Wolf got a pet called Ted,

A tortoise who usually hangs out,

By the garden shed,

He helps her through the tough times,

He’s much better for mental issues,

Than a stupid box of tissues.

 

One day was undoubtedly going to be a scorcher,

Too hot to bake the bread,

So she got in her head,

A notion to visit the mall,

She fetched her purse,

From down the hall,

Then got in her Wolf Car,

And blasted the air,

To keep herself from torture.

 

Mrs. Wolf knew,

The mall was a danger,

As it was built on the border,

Of the Enchanted Forest,

And the Real World,

Here’s to hoping she doesn’t see that gossip,

Mrs. Morris,

Or her ex-husband,

Whose name is Boris.

 

Mrs. Wolf had quite the exciting day,

Like any lady,

Enjoying retail therapy,

And for the record yes,

She did see the enemy,

Mr. Wolf was also there,

But she managed to dodge his nasty ass,

And came home with a hott new dress,

And a record clean of a felony.

 

Mrs. Wolf likes to take Tortoise Ted,

For walks along the forest paths,

Every day about noon,

As a wolf and a tortoise together,

Is one weird sight,

She was thought by some,

To be crazy as a loon,

But she did not care,

What they thought,

She was free,

And could not wait to see,

What other wonders,

The single life brought.

 

In Mrs. Wolf’s Enchanted Town,

Time is frozen,

While she stayed young,

It is told,

That Boris got old.

 

Days went by,

Then weeks turned into months,

And months flowed into years,

Finally Mrs. Wolf ran out of tears,

And try as he might,

That lying Boris Wolf,

Was never able to find,

Her sexy behind.

 

Mrs. Wolf has no regrets,

Life here is as good as it gets,

Freedom to choose,

Her every move,

This is easy street,

Yes life here is a treat.

 

Mr. Wolf never did get happy,

Though he tried his best,

And in some situations,

Even got a little sappy,

He was forever the neighborhood outcast,

For his treatment of Mrs. Wolf in the past.

 

Mrs. Wolf is still alive,

But Mr. Wolf has long since died,

Good riddance to him,

She thinks with a laugh,

As she and Tortoise Ted,

Once more skip down their favorite path.

 

 

 

Run Along Now

It’s time to let it go,

Turn the lights out on that shit,

And just get over it.

 

Hopefully you’ve learned a lesson,

But now you need to,

Get to steppin’.

 

Better things await,

Beyond the next gate,

This was never meant to be your fate.

 

It seemed meant to be,

At the time,

But already this thing,

Has passed its prime.

 

There’s a whole world out there,

It’s time to see beyond,

This doomed affair.

 

Something new,

In its own time,

Will find its way to you.

 

The beyond right now seems scary,

But this toxic situation,

Is saddling you with burdens,

You should not have to carry.

 

Just leave,

Go about your business,

There’s nothing here to grieve.

 

There will be fun,

After you’ve found,

The courage to run,

You will see,

Times bright as the sun.

 

Your true destination,

Will not leave you bumped and bruised,

Not even figuratively,

You are not meant to be abused.

 

Until you are satisfied,

It’s not the end of the line,

It’s only a stepping stone,

Do not let yourself,

Be confined.

 

 

An Outsider’s Jingle

R-rated,

Seemingly always hated,

But never be a mirror image,

Of anyone but yourself.

 

Haunted,

By a feeling,

Of never being truly wanted,

Will keep your brain a-reeling.

 

Take a break,

A break from life,

For awhile,

Leave the world behind,

Learn again to smile,

Go re-find your mind.

 

It was said by Cinderella,

We all need some sort of shelter,

Well go figure out what could be yours,

Go, go far away,

Get to doing it,

Leave behind this world,

That’s trying to make you,

From yourself stray.

 

Don’t come back,

‘Til you’re back on track,

‘Til all your problems,

Have been sacked,

And you’re safe,

From going Snap.

 

You’ll be recharged,

But still,

Don’t be expecting miracles,

Remember,

Don’t dilute your personality,

Just for others who are critical,

And insist on causing for you,

Troubles by the barrelful.

 

You are R-rated,

Seemingly always hated,

Haunted,

Because you feel never really wanted,

But don’t let these assholes make you feel daunted,

Be yourself,

Yes fucking flaunt it.

 

 

 

 

 

Short But Sweet: A Night Owl’s Point Of View

Lovers of the graveyard shift,

People whose light,

Is at night,

Nine-to-fivers,

Call us not right.

 

We can sleep the day away,

And wake in the late afternoon,

We don’t rise with the sun,

But instead are more in tune,

With the moon.

 

Morning birds call us peculiar,

Because our way of life,

To them is unfamiliar,

But let me tell you,

Navigating the world,

Without all their traffic,

Makes our life,

Go so much smoother.

 

Many of us are introverts,

When we try to mix with others,

It most times just ends in hurt,

We are not though,

Drawn to all things infernal,

Just because we happen,

To be nocturnal.

 

We are a group of rebels,

Such special little devils,

Our perspective of life,

Is sharp as a knife,

We are smart,

And we are fun,

If you consider yourself normal,

It’s from your kind we run.

 

 

 

 

Today

It started out just fine,

But it takes just one motherfucker,

Crossing just one line,

I roll my eyes,

And happen to look up at the sky.

 

Oh my!

Look what’s rolling in,

Out there on the horizon,

I wish,

For once,

To be the clouds,

Instead of the one they shroud.

 

Clouds,

You may as well stay,

Your presence,

Mirrors my mood today.

 

Are you laughing,

As you rain on my parade?

Do you find it funny,

To fill my day with gloom,

Making sure that in my life,

No flowers are able to bloom?

 

You are welcome,

To bring with you a storm,

Just kindly make it strong,

Strong enough for the winds and waters,

To wash gone,

All that’s wrong.

 

Clouds,

I see you’re forecast to stick around,

I hope that’s not also the prediction,

For my current vexation.

 

Clouds,

Instead of being a mirror,

It would be more satisfactory,

For you to be a wall,

That I could hide behind,

Until my way is clearer.

 

They say too much sun can burn you,

Maybe that’s the silver lining here,

Good things can have their own ill effects,

But when the sun’s shining so bright,

Bringing all that cheer,

It’s easy to get blinded,

Then once the downside hits,

Which rest assured it surely will,

Life will start to go downhill,

And there you are,

Life’s no more the Ritz.

 

Clouds,

You make me have a thicker skin,

You make me tough as nails,

So keep it coming assholes,

This bitch will prevail!

Really???

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

Be sure not to come,

Around me no more.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

That one is such,

A fucking whore.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

Turn around and head,

Back out that door.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

Go lose yourself,

Down by the seashore.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

You just caused me,

An additional chore.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

Keep it up,

And you’ll go poor.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

You should know,

All that’s only folklore.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

There was lots more there,

Than just a core.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

That one’s full,

Of blood and gore.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

Tomorrow you’ll be,

Fucking sore.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

Now all night,

I’ll hear you snore.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

She can’t even cook,

She uses Knorr.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

Now there’ll be,

A huge uproar.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

I fucking said,

I needed four.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

Not everyone enjoys,

Halloween and Horror.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

Get your ass ,

Back to the store.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

No I don’t want them here,

They’re a bore.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

They’re nasty when,

You don’t free-pour.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

I’d say it’s time,

I even the score.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

Go hide that shit,

Inside a drawer.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

I said hind,

Not fore.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

That’s just ugly,

What you wore.

 

What the fuck?

What did you do that for?

I ought to hit you,

With an oar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inspirations From Lig-Mik-Bed

The unsuccessful outcast,

The little piece of shit,

One of few labeled a piece of trash,

In a world chock-full of unrealized garbage.

 

You know,

The one who takes the fall,

Wishing only to blend in with the wall,

While being labeled a culprit,

Forced to take that fall,

For others’ bullshit.

 

The black sheep if you will,

Taking unrelenting taunting,

It seems it’s always something,

Family, friend, enemy,

It’s all the same,

I believe frenemy,

Is the proper name.

 

Of absolute unimportance,

Just a stupid maverick,

The face of whom,

Makes them sick.

 

The rebel the renegade the prodigal one,

Tries to keep under everyone’s radar,

Yet each action is noticed,

And just another reason,

To be the subject for everyone’s  fun.

 

The topic of lies told,

And when these falsehoods unfold,

It’s the disgraced one who’s forced to be bold,

To go out of their way,

To save their own ass,

Then is accused,

Of having no class.

 

Fuck these assholes,

The ones afore referred to,

As unrealized garbage,

They front behind a façade,

When they go off on their tirade,

Not giving a fuck,

That they are causing undue strife,

In another’s life.

 

And to these assholes,

The ones afore referred to,

As unrealized garbage,

If you are one,

Try to understand,

You’ve been seen through,

And the ‘trash’ wants no more to do with you.

 

Yes this one you have labeled,

As weird and not normal,

Has cut you off,

So let’s not be fake,

And think of more lies to make,

Don’t put on a show,

Just shut the fuck up and go,

You’ve been dismissed,

A backbone has grown,

And it’s now known,

You’ve always been foe.

 

 

 

 

Actually, You Suck

Mind your business,

You piece of shit,

Too bad for you,

If  you don’t like it,

It’s my life to live,

And not one fuck is given,

About your opinion.

 

Not being traditional,

Does not warrant a pill,

I think you may just need to chill,

You are not superior,

Just stop being so bossy,

If you don’t want me to act so saucy.

 

My calling is not good enough,

To you it just screams trashy,

God forbid I’m unlike you,

An idiot I must be,

Since I’m lacking your degree,

I guess that must mean,

I could never be ‘perfect’ like you,

You’re just so fuckin’ classy.

 

You assume yourself a saint,

For choosing silence over sound,

On your temper you put a restraint,

Your logic says you appear angelic,

For leaving opinions unsaid,

But I see through this false front you paint,

I see that you’re a prick.

 

I have a problem,

It must be solved with option A or option B,

You insist I should be just like you,

By choosing option C,

But C does not exist for me,

And behind closed doors,

I know your life does not flow smoothly,

Like the false front you paint,

For outsiders to see.

 

A loser you say,

You have this,

I do not have that,

I can see what you’ve got,

You forget I am not blind,

And I can use my own mind,

Here that thing is just not wanted,

And to me that ‘awesome’ thing,

It’s just stupid shit,

So be mad,

Feel hate,

I know all about,

The false front that you paint.

 

What I have my hands have earned,

How it’s spent will be my choice,

As will be anything you hear,

Uttered by my voice,

I do not strive to be a saint,

And a false front I will not paint.

 

Do not expect my sympathy,

Next time Karma comes a-knocking,

You talk shit about me,

When I have a calamity,

I like seeing the tables turned,

Maybe you’ll wake up with newfound empathy.